Lonely Sentinel

Lonely Sentinel

 

She sat desolate as the grey opulent light peered into her dark corner,

From the kitchen, dimly she heard the refrigerator hum,

As the rhythmic drips of water immutably echoed empty and hollow,

Played a wicked game upon her inflamed mind.

 

It seemed eons had passed since this vigilant angel last moved,

As she sat there disheveled, hair tousled, her robe draped off her shoulder,

Her half-full cup of coffee rested at her feet, within reach but not forgotten,

With book in hand and in contemplative thought, she was imprisoned in her solitary hell.

 

Pain and sadness stood guard over her imprisoned secrets like gatekeepers,

Life, love, happiness - forgotten ghosts mere silhouettes from the light of her story,

Agony gnawed at her soul while a winter fog crossed over the house,

And a damp chill sent shivers through her like a frigid sigh.

 

The wind blew and the snow swirled, as she stared endlessly into the bitter cold,

In her reflection, she saw the fear in her eyes from the loneliness of reality,

Solemn and wearied, she imagined a million places she would rather be,

Than sitting on her couch as she gazed through the window, like a lonely sentinel....

 

1/30/2018

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Excellent writing! You nail what I feel makes poetry come alive & that's using tons of details & imagery. I can see this happening as if it were a mini-film. Your way of observing is authentic & not overly dressed, but simply like a mirror with no opinion or agenda. Very true-to-live for many live lives of quiet desperation & your title is perfect. I hope you like it here . . . I do . . . looking forward to seeing you post more stuff! (((HUGS))) fondly, Margie

[Ghost]

Thank you..

[Neville]

Dont wanna sound like an echo but Margie just hit the nail on its proverbial...Excellent............Neville

[boo-boo]

this describes what i felt so perfectly. it was a very dark, lonely time after losing mom, then dad, then losing u. it felt like i had lost everything in the world that was important in my life and i spent almost 2 years watching life go by. i couldnt express it in words, but u sure did! thank u

[Ghost]

Your welcome.. I hope you can see some color to life now?

[Delmar Cooper]

"grey opulent light peered into her dark corner" Opulent: " rich and luxurious or lavish" yet the corner is dark. Why gray if lavish? Perhaps another modifier in place of "opulent" or none at all.

"dimly she heard the refrigerator hum," "Dimly" seems to be an adverb more associated with sight than sound.

" immutably echoed " Are not echoes sounds reflected and muted?

I have read this several times and when I read it aloud and omit modifiers that are not essential "half -full, winter, million" are left. Maybe that reading is too Spartan, but it seems closer to the bones of the poem to me.

[Ghost]

wow constructive criticism kind of sounds like pure criticism. Sorry if it offended you with all the things you found wrong, Thank you!

[Delmar Cooper]

I didn't find anything "wrong". It's poetry, do it anyway you choose. I just looked at it another way. No offence intended, and I would not have read it as many times as I did if I found it offensive.

[Ghost]

Well thank you

[Cherrie Palmer]

I hope you enjoy your stay here in the cafe. I look forward in reading more of your work.

[Ghost]

Thank you..

[Cherrie Palmer]

I should never review on my phone cannot see what I saying