Harmless

I want to see heaven in my kitchen tiles and bathe in the Vatican City under blankets of fire and sex

To stand on the ceiling with a quart of vodka down my throat and scream that I have never loved a soul

To die in earnest before the front wheels of my car, not a scratch on me save for the dirt under my fingernails

To pen every lie and deceit I’ve ever told and nail them to the walls and to my own bloodied self

To be dramatic and ruthless and awful and true, uncloaked and exposed in my confinement

To bury my own lifeless body in the garden, and join it as a prickling vine in a year

And then I may be gentle. The waves may part and the trees may bow upon my arrival

When I am reborn, perhaps I will be kindred with angels and the flowers that surround me 

I will have no force of my own and no true will to do good nor evil, I will exist only as a mild, passing breath of wind 

But now, while my own lungs throb with the threat of song and tears, I will choose to inflict what I wish upon myself

And I will hurt whomever I may, love whomever I must and throw bricks of anguish and longing through the windows of my own diminished soul

Author's Note

Is this halfway decent or pretentious rambling? It's the most honest thing I've ever written but I know there are other ways to get the point across, what do you think?

Reviews

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

This is a very dark piece of poetry but I enjoyed reading it because of the honesty behind the words. It has a fiery passion and no holds bar truth to it. When there is this level of truthfulness one can't help but respect it, even if they may disagree with aspects of it. Good write. Thank you for sharing your art with us.