anxiety writes my wedding vows again

Do you love me enough,

To give me an extra set of skin when

The one I was born with is not thick enough? 

Do you love me enough 

To see me suffering with a smile on my face,

And pull me out of the fire I put myself in?

Do you love me enough,

To cradle me in your arms, holding me close,

When my mask falls off and I’m back to being a child?

Do you love me enough 

to replace all of the mirrors with your words-

So instead of seeing scarred, I hear beautiful?

Do you love me enough,

To stand by me when all I want to do

Is back down, surrender, and give up? 

Do you love me enough,

That when you see me dissected on a table,

As both the victim and the surgeon,

You clean the blood off my hands,

Stitch up my wounds, and forgive me? 

Do you love me enough,

To love me when I am not able? 

Enough to say “it’s okay,

No matter how much you hate yourself,

I will be here to tell you you’re wrong”? 

Do you love me enough,

For me to be enough?