the dieing heart

is there any hope at all

the crimson stream,

that flows from my eyes,

comes from my wounded heart.

 

draining my soul,

of memories of laughter.

 

my emotions rumble,

as a,

fiery volcano,

that refuses to erupt.

 

my very being,

shaken,

by earthquakes of dispair.

 

a tsunami of fear

clutches my throat,

unable to scream,

cry,

or yell in anger,

never to recede,

to rebuild.

drowning the future of happiness.

 

fireballs of dreams,

once thought to kindle a forrest fire

of life, and love,

 

lay sizzling,

wet and growing cold,

in the crimson stream

that flows from

my terror filled eyes,

 

weakening my dieing

heart.

Reviews

[Mashairi]

Beautiful :)

[Liza]

crimson must be the popular color in the cafe
it fits well in any writing
this expression was filled with smooth contrasts
taking my mind in every direction pleasurably
even the last line hit me profoundly
"weakening my dieing
heart."
(I believing it is spelled dying)

[Olivia Ashley]

Love it

100/100

[-Insertnamehere-]

Yes, dieing is spelled dying. I liked this because of its raw form and your use of words. It was very emotional, and allowed me to remember things I had experienced.

a tsunami of fear

clutches my throat,

unable to scream,

cry,

or yell in anger,

never to recede,

to rebuild.

This was my favorite stanza out of all of them. It grabbed me. However, the way you wrote this poem was a bit sloppy and ragged. I found myself pausing in places that weren't supposed to have a pause, which made reading the poem very unnatural.
Other than that great job.

[Poetry Girl]

very sad but very touching and i did enjoy it. well done

[Sara Mercury]

dieing is supposed to be "dying," yes?

Other than that, a very nice piece.

[CherryBomb]

you take different events, and place it into an emotional scene! great writing!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This is a good poem. I liked this very much. Hopefully there will be hope for everyone. I would say believe in God and he will believe in you. I thought this something I could relate to. Thanks for sharing. :)

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a heartbreaking happenstance interpreted in a deeply stirring way~ such lyrical descriptives you've woven to translate the devastated human heart~