pathways

dear dad

To the Man who has been with me,

throughout the years,

the touch I no longer feel,

but sentiments still found and real.

Years we walk by,

paths the same at start,

but more paths for us to choose

and I look at you,

when we have two choices to walk on to.

I said, This way, pointing to the line where I see palm trees visible,

but he looked at me with a smile.

I never thought that smiles

were formed in various manner.

The smile he gave me was a sad

but a relief one

I looked up at his long feet

and thought, wow, you've been through a lot

he chuckled at my words

and took a last look at his own resemblance with my features.

He got close,

cause he wanted to feel the touch of love, touch of farewell,

but I never knew what he wanted

I always thought he only did this for mere drama

so much drama for you, old Man.

And so I smiled and shook lightly,

let's take this way.

I took steps towards the road of palm tress and hot sun,

few more steps,

and I realized he wasn't following,

I looked at him,

he took his first steps on the road with much willingness,

as if this was the road who would calm the storms

of life he has been through.

I look at him while on different line,

he looked at me with that smile.

and I knew, if he walks more than those steps,

he won't be visible to me anymore.

He bid his last farewell as he took deep breath

while I holler,

but no use of everything,

the path he took is the path for him.

He faded away,

my late farewell were at due

no matter how many times I try to,

his eyes no longer open

for me to see through.

Now the words I never said wasn't just the farewell,

the lack of devotion,

words hard to say,

expressive to peers,

hard to say,

to someone who has to hear it.

I continued on the path I took

that I could no longer change,

I remember as I took my first steps,

all was a road of needles, hard to keep balance,

on how to step just not to feel needle pain.

But the longer it took,

the lesser the needle pains were,

and all I do is reminisce everything,

I had with him when he still walks with me.

Never apart,

maybe in distance,

but not by heart.

Author's Note

tribute to my Dad, I miss you