The Encounter

In it came... the forever-existing chill that descends upon my room every night as a thundering waterfall does. Except it did not roar with tenacity, but whispered with consistency. There was no doubt in my mind that this would be another one of those nights. The ones I defiantly attempted to lock away every morning; the ones that incessantly slithered to the surface through every opening I granted.

     I'd fallen prey to her presence again. My body succumbing to the distress emanating in every direction from her cadaverous figure. Melancholic despair engulfed the room as she approached my bed. She need not speak for me to know that all she craved was rescue from her affliction; whatever it may have been. I dared not cast aside her plea one more night. Tonight I was a valiant mediator determined to liberate her soul and ultimately, pacify mine.

"Y-you, who are you?"

 

    Silence... it was as if the words I managed to utter were erroneous or simply ignored. Nevertheless, I had her attention. My nocturnal visitor had stopped her sluggish advance towards me; it seemed she was as bewildered by my question as I was. It could be that she was astonished by my courage to finally attempt interaction with her. After all, I had been fleeing from our encounters for months.

"Do I deserve hell?"

     Her voice was one like I had never heard before. If agony had a form, her voice expressed it from head to toe. Yet, this did not make me any less petrified. Her voice was one of lament, but it was one with potential. She stood there. Worried, almost as if my next words would seal her helpless fate.

"I don't know."

      Tears streamed down her cheeks. As every one dangled off her face and crashed to the ground, the room turned icier. My answer seemed to be just as wrong as my previous question, but before I could breathe out an apology she let out a paralyzing cry. Her mouth was wide open, but her shriek did not originate from her. Every corner of the room was emitting and echoing the abominable sound.
     Never in my life do I remember trembling as I did tonight. I could not take anymore of this unsightly nightmare; I had no reason to. There was no reason in the first place. What sane individual would face such an issue? Such thoughts of cowardice collided time and time again until chaos took over and completely blinded me. What little strength I had gathered to initially confront this curse, had found refuge in my legs. I ran...

     Every lumbering step I took required strenuous effort. I visualized myself sprinting frantically for my life. My reality was much more discouraging. I had been immobilized by terror, my vision returned from a blur back to the phantasmal nightmare that spiraled me into shock. Her despicable howl still resounding; bouncing back on every wall and striking me to the core every unbearable passing second. My heart palpitated- no, hammered against my chest. Every beat required a gasp for air. I was going to die, choked by panic and nothing more.
     Her cry stopped and with that, the frosty chill subsided. The pandemonium that flooded the room now was swallowed by tense, uncertain and absolute silence. If that was her reply to me, then I knew it was my turn to verbalize my feelings. I would weep and beg for rescue if it were my feelings she desired to attend, but I had learned she was a hostile audience. I braced myself for a resurgence of chaos as I desolately ejected my words...

"What do you want from me?"

     Nothing, no response at all. For the first time during this eternal, inconceivable affair I made eye-contact with her. She possessed unnatural corpse-like, gray eyes that seemed like they had just witnessed the hanging of a loved one mournfully gazed upon mine. They were also asking questions; if eyes had tongue and mind, hers would be attempting to decipher life itself. Her pallid face was pleasingly edgy with prominent features. My tormentor was an appealing woman, but a deathly, bloodless one nonetheless. As I continued my mesmerized inspection of her pallid semblance, she gracefully extended her right arm and grasped my throat.

     I was aware of her hands' embrace upon my neck, but my enfeebled body was not. I did not feel what I expected to be icy goosebumps inducing claws. Soothing relief steadily replenished me, and was an assurance that this night had made a radical shift allowing for optimism. I was wrong.

     My senses erupted beyond my control. Each and every physical sensation a being could imagine was swarming through every inch of my body; it was a maniacal combustion of the soul. We had made forbidden contact like no one had dared before. A wandering ghost making an illogical connection with the living, but as soon as it had begun, the roller coaster of sensations was over. Tension was eradicated, stress exterminated; any unbearable weight that tied me to this earth and every negative feeling that tied me to life was gone. I was free, I was dead.

     I brought my hands up and studied my palms; I was one of her now. There was no panic, no fear; only peace. If I had not gone through such a supernatural "transformation", I would have let out a deafening scream and collapsed on the ground. She had freed me from such humanly impulses, but the question was, why? 

"You must have a lot of questions Dustin. I'm sorry I was not able to fully communicate with you while you were alive. I don't know how I was able to do it the first time. I have given you contact because I am in desperate need of your help. This cannot be delayed another night. "

Reviews

[Tymothy L Smith]

I saw your post asking for critiques, here is mine.
This is a nice piece.
There are some grammatical errors, would read a bit easier if you fixed those, nothing terrible, just the ones we always do.
What i liked in the piece was that i was curious what was going to happen, i liked that even as she had her hands around his neck, he still wasn't completely sure her intention.
Think it could use a cleaning up, some of the sentences you could really polish (eg. 'I would weep and beg for rescue if it were my feelings she desired to attend, but I had learned she was a hostile audience.' is a nice sentence, but a bit of teasing to the audience would perhaps be a bit more alluring?).
When you post the next part, do let me know. Good job.

[Alexander Rodgers]

Very good, I liked it a lot. You have something going here, and it's creepy! Keep going! There's only one error I would like to point out ''existing chill that descends upon my room every night as a thundering waterfall fall does.'' The extra ''fall' after waterfall isn't necessary. Besides that, it's pretty flawless.

[Craig2591]

Wow! This is quite good! Veeeerrrrry descriptive. If I was to make any criticism at all it would be that it might be a bit TOO descriptive. Maybe.

It was all very clear. Not muddled or confusing at all.

I see no technical errors.

You say this is your first time? Really?! Could have fooled me!

I would really appreciate a reciprocal review of one of my stories. I would value your opinion.