We shall overwhelm.

Some of my thoughts regarding my self harm experience right now and the experience of others and the hope I cling onto no matter how impossible it seems of recovery. So yeah, tell me what you think?

"It was the cat" I say, "we were playing rough"

But I know the lie is too generic and overused and they see right through me and it scares me.

I know they don't care as much as they pretend to and it angers me because I know deep down I'm alone.

If I were to ask for some help I'd have to return the favour and I don't think that's fair.

Because, as dumb as it sounds, I want them there for me because they want to be.

I don't want them there because it might benefit them in the future.

If I had a choice I'd leave this life but I don't.

Not really.

To leave would be to abandon those who might need me some day.

And I know that when this is over, and it will be so I'm told,

I can help those in my situation in a selfless way and I can help them with experience.

Not these f*****g speeches made by child psychologists who have never been in this position

who have never taken a razor blade to skin or cried their self to sleep at night because they've hurt the ones they love by hurting them self

I'll be there because I know what it's like. 

I know how to take the blade out a razor and how to carve hate onto my skin it's second nature.

And I'll know what they need to hear because I need to hear it right now but I don't

I can understand what's missing and I won't ask them to stop for me, I'll ask them to stop for them

and I know it's hard, believe me, I do. 

But I know that one day I'll look at my arm, my legs, my body and cry because the skin had to repair itself because my lack of respect made it. 

I'll be able to tell them that if I made it, they can make it.

I will know that at that moment they don't care about the scars and they don't care about the future 

but I'll be the devils advocate because I'll have been with god too.

I understand it's all "one day" and "Keep fighting" and the cliche gets tiring but it's true

out there somebody loves you and it may not be obvious and it may not be possible to see but I stand my ground and I'll yell from the clouds that when this is over and when the scars remain only scars, you will be free

As I will be.

And the happiness might scare you because sadness is all you know

But I think it will be worth it so stand tall and let the world know your name

show them that no matter what, you shall not be tamed. 

You are a lion! We are a pride and our pride shall not be broken.

The scars are a reminder of the hurdles we have jumped and yes, some of us may fall

but we know that if we fall, we are not alone and someone will be there to help us up so we can keep on marching. 

Because we're sick of searching for the answers in books and magazines so we'll journey to the deepest realms of our mind to find them because with them, we can overcome.

We shall overwhelm. 

Author's Note

Grammar- just ignore any fuck ups