Anxiety ~ Or A Morning cup of fear

moi

~ Anxiety ~ Or a morning cup of fear ~ 
 

 
I awaken from a dark sleep ~ reluctantly
the fears of life have gathered
Foreboding knots nauseate the stomach
the soothing numbness of darkness fades
I am alone ~ always alone and awake
long gone is the caress that welcomes
A new day shared in togetherness
distant memories of a life long past
I am empty and afraid of new hurts
torn between my desires
The ever constant want for you at my side
the ever constant fear of losing you
It's hard to breath ~ to fill my lungs
old life - new life clash
I stand naked at the shore
submit to the ocean that is you
I tremble with my thoughts
silent prayers that you will cleanse the soul
I am afraid ~ I am alone
need alas so full of need
So I am fearful
are the needs too great
Will I suffocate as I always have
will happiness once again abandon
Am I worthy of love
am I worthy of anything
This is the man who stands at your door
this is the man who offers his hand
This is the man who loves you so
this is a man afraid and alone
~g~
 

Reviews

[MagiCrystal]

Anxiety.. is an adrenaline that can kill any human... no doubt
it can be fool us like a heart attacked or a stroke..but no s**t..
Is is deadly... so deadly.. as a black widow..lol
Love it.. letter by letter.. the best

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh this is so painful to read.. I feel this some mornings as well.. think "what in the world am I doing with my life? What has become of me?" I used to work up to 60 hrs a week.. drown myself in work to support my chiildren.. and never had much time to spend with them.. when they need me physically to show them love and spend time with them.. not much choice when the medicine and cost of living is sooo high.. I can relate to this part of your writing:

I am alone ~ always alone and awake
long gone is the caress that welcomes
A new day shared in togetherness
distant memories of a life long past
I am empty and afraid of new hurts
torn between my desires

I am torn myself as I sit and have time to assess where I am.. where I am going.. what do I want to do? Well to be happy is a big one.. to find life's passion which my art is helping with.. my beliefs are strong but too many that are close around me do not share my beliefs other than my mother and my son.. it can be lonely some times. Thank you so much for sharing.. it's nice to know that some people feel the same.. I may not be as lonely as above but I do relate... cheers to better days!=)

[Katherine Wyatt]

I am afraid.. and alone too G~ But I took your hand a long time again love..You will never lose that hand....It is only lost if you choose to release it...(God mornings can suck!)
I love you so very much~

[~Mary Ann~]

The feelings of love.. there is nothing like it. :)