Nullification

why does he have to be the fighter?
why does he have to fight this persistent ache?

this persistent ache that will never leave
him alone, leave him be

why can't the medication murder it?
why can't the simple act of writing
quell it permanently?
why does it take several shots and
several tugs to catch the dragon's tail?

stuck at the intersection of
Arizona 85 and Arizona 86,
the shape formed by them that is

permanently, and waiting for
the desert sun to do some damage
to his person and his spirit,
because it's quicker than the
ache taking it's sweet f*****g time

even the simple act of petting his
black cat does little to ease
his foreboding, his bad luck,
like bad luck is his constant companion

all of the hours of music listened to,
all of the poems scrawled and typed,
all of the yanking and expelling,
the dull, persistent ache remains
until he becomes yet another
statistic, another member of the
thirty-five thousand people that
couldn't take that ache anymore,
the ache that never leaves,
the ache that is beyond being
the unwelcome house guest

this is his life on the exponential
death curve that never fully reaches
zero, the horizontal axis in other words
but the limit approaches infinity

it feels like infinity for him,
a never-ending slide into the abyss

let the abyss eat me, he says,
because all the help this life
has to offer is null and void

nullification is his best friend

Reviews

[Chris]

Ken, I needed to stop by and let my mind reintegrate with meaning-full thoughts. We just don't see how little we are in the schema and thereafter its always about us,,,

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Let our moments of loss or failure be the motivation to try harder and succeed.

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

Seems like That One Guy was nullified? The big stanza,

"all of the hours of music listened to,
all of the poems scrawled and typed,
all of the yanking and expelling,
the dull, persistent ache remains"

That's where it is at!

[.]

I have really strong painkillers that may help :)

Seriously though, this is the itch which cant be scratched, the splinter in the eye..eloquent and poignant...

[Tim Lion]

A s**t ton of awesomeness dropped on my heAD!
T

[Rene Velez]

Wow, stark and somber words my friend with just the faintest grasp at hope, intangible? Most likely. Awesomeness Ken.

[emmajoy]

Dramatic, powerful, a choked scream in the night .. your nullifcation seems somehow a long ways off however. Your words are floundering in dark deep water; they're near taking me there in places, 'waiting for the desert sun to do some damage ~ to his person and his spirit, ~ because it's quicker than the ~ ache taking it's sweet f*****g time' - it's like slowly experiencing a hell on earth.

Such pain is the devil and more, whether it be sickeness or the most terrible loss of direction or .. and your words experience what many could understand and even more not. You write with amazing precision.

[An owl on the moon]

What a agony... like a scream to the sky... a longing for understanding... wishing to be numb... letting go... Each sentence strikes out like a fire of existential desire.

[John Patrick Robbins AK..]

Hits like a sledge hammer amigo brutal and honest truthe thats the way it should always be.
Outstanding job on this i always like reading people who cut straight through the bullshit and you do that like a razor my friend cheers and stay crazy