Rhymes With Silver

Try and fail,
try and fail,
like Melville did
with Moby-Dick,
the white whale
that wasn’t a
white elephant
right away.

White, right,
easy to rhyme
easy to keep time,
and not the thyme
that made the trek
to Scarborough Fair.

But, what of silver,
the lustrous beauty
that made Comstock
wealthy or sold the
savior of the world
out for a number of
pieces, five by six in fact.

That may explain why the
price of it per ounce
languishes rather obscurely
in that price range,
all because Jesus has
a boner for vengeance.

And that is likely
why it lacks a true
rhyme like it precious
cousin, the one that is
bold in color and
old in status and
told to be bought
by the Ponzis
of this day and age.

And again, I failed
to deliver on my promise
of return like Ponzi did
with his later investors.

After a failed
Bill Hicks-like
trance that involved
the probability of witnessing
purple turtles dropping on
the skulls of Asian poachers,
I decided to attack the conundrum
with a near-rhyme approach.

Pilfer came to mind,
but that reminded me
of a stable society being
undermined from within,
so that was rejected.

So did Dilfer,
but that immediately
connected me to a
lackluster quarterback
from the steroid overdose
league who had the
tarnished luster of
the abovementioned
precious metal, but
he did have a Super Bowl
title to his credit.

Sliver was truly
the closest I came
to the answer, but
it was only a fake
rhyme, the kind
that tries to be
a carbon allotrope
when it's simple
cubic zirconium.

With the options
finally exhausted,
I came across the
approach of stripping
letters from the median
of an already existing word.

The word is pilver,
which shall be
defined as a
shorthand for a
certain sexual position
mimicking the action
of an inverted wheelbarrow
subtracted of the second vowel sound,
which is the second vowel in fact,
and the word that defined
the state of nature prior to
a sudden tempest.

That’s lame, isn’t it?

Like a man who cannot
perform in the bedroom when
Megan Fox or
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
stops by for a visit,
possibly at the same moment.

It seems to me
that the John of Patmos
phase of my poetic life
has finally concluded,
because the voices in my
head might have needed
a sudden, if not,
permanent vacation.

All in all,
I’m convinced that this
work is the Dyson
vacuum cleaner of
today’s poetic landscape.

And, I thought,
for some odd reason,
that I was micro brewing
a masterpiece, but it turned
into a masterpiece of s**t.

Well, it may be
Schlitz and not
Samuel Adams,
but it’s finally complete.

Sliver,
the black sheep of
the precious metal community,
now has a word that rhymes with it.

It has been willed,
and it shall be the
whole of the law.

Reviews

[Branch Isole]

An interesting and self deprecating illusory style in this pithy piece of opine.

[Princess LouLou]

Very good poem, the words that flow together to make this flow that you have created is amazing. Well done, I guess you spend a lot of time on this poem because it is good. I must say. Jolly Good old sir. Brilliant write. Keep Writing.

[Jeremy Baker]

A very clever poem, full of allusion and a mastery of the subject - with some very welcome humour as well! Excellent write!

[Ed Hart]

Hi Ho Silver, away!

[Judy Ponceby]

Enjoyed the interesting ramble through symantics, fascinating references past and current. And your befitting gift to Silver, most excellent :)