I want to say ‘I love you’ at the most inappropriate moments. It could be anything; perhaps to a waitress because she smiles as she puts down my coffee, or in response to a poem, or to a drunk who cries because he can’t tie his own shoes.
I don’t know why. In these moments I have an ache, a burning desire to tell a stranger that I love them. I feel it in my chest, in my throat, in my fingertips. There’s a moment of some unknowable connection and in that moment I am in love.
Perhaps the light in her eyes reflects back to me someone I lost. Maybe a poem or just a comment on something I posted speaks to me with voices from the dead. Or perhaps just some small act of kindness reminds me that I am not alone in the world.
I never speak it. Sometimes I wonder if I should. Perhaps I should love everyone, open and even. Perhaps the world is a beautiful place and people would accept it for what it’s worth. I’m afraid that people will react badly, that they will be uncomfortable, offended, or perhaps even try to make advances.
I think that I might be broken, to feel this way with so little provocation. I worry that I feel a loss so hard that I project a memory of beauty into everything I see and everything I touch. But these fleeting moments, like butterflies, like gasps of cool air, like lightning strikes; these are not to be tainted with the rumbles of thunder. So I never speak it.
I breathe. I feel the tingle in my body. I close my eyes.
In these tiny moments, in my own fucked up, crazy way,
I like this one a lot, we all need to feel that connection...probably would freak strangers out if you went around saying 'I love you' all the time, but I do understand where this is coming from, an ache to have a free heart and some kind of invisible spark or affinity with others.
' But these fleeting moments, like butterflies, like gasps of cool air, like lightning strikes; these are not to be tainted with the rumbles of thunder '
Although i believe in using the words, if truly meant .. i understand how you feel, i think .. in saying those three words and really meaning them, one has to be struck by lightning. Fortunately the weather in the UK is so terrible, storms are pretty often so, discomfort or guilt don't poke their nose out of .. wherever! Your given explanation is quite heart.wrenching, it's a philosophy of your own making, from your free spirit.
As said before, you have a way with words, an honesty; you don't apologise for being and thinking self. It's rare for the many writers who like to wring out emotions then hang them on a line - for you, seems to be take it or leave it and in such fine language,
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Yeah - those three little words - overused by greeting cards and marketing slogans - they still have.. read moreYeah - those three little words - overused by greeting cards and marketing slogans - they still have power. There are a precious few with whom I have shared these words , and I do not say them lightly.
I'm glad you like the writing - as you say, much emotional writing turns to out be the stringing of loose feelings for the world to see, like a child offering up broken toys for inspection - I try hard not to let my writing slip down the slippery slope of self indulgence - but at the same time, I want to write something that has meaning in some way. I guess it's a very hard line to walk and difficult to know when I'm on the right side ;)
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment :)
what a wonderful world it would be...if we were not so hesitant to speak such feelings.. even for a moment to a stranger...it is what humans crave Love this write !
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Aww thanks. I agree, if we could open up and just share love perhaps everything would be much better.. read moreAww thanks. I agree, if we could open up and just share love perhaps everything would be much better - I suppose we are all too afraid to show our hearts because it shows our vulnerability, and although most would accept and return the love we are still scared of those dangerous few that would cut us when our guard is down.
Don of Eagles? wow...Patty...erm..dunno her...thx...how come u know this one song of all the billion.. read moreDon of Eagles? wow...Patty...erm..dunno her...thx...how come u know this one song of all the billions in the world?*
11 Years Ago
I didn't really - I just looked it up. ;)
11 Years Ago
thx for takin the trouble...my net here is slow..and crawling..*_*
11 Years Ago
Yeah - bad internet can be really annoying... I get that a lot when I'm on the road :)
that breaks down forever...specially when he wanst to take veronica on a date....but works fine when.. read morethat breaks down forever...specially when he wanst to take veronica on a date....but works fine when betty wants a ride home...u think jughead is behind this?
I like this one a lot, we all need to feel that connection...probably would freak strangers out if you went around saying 'I love you' all the time, but I do understand where this is coming from, an ache to have a free heart and some kind of invisible spark or affinity with others.
Guarda la rosas, no estoy muerta
Dejé una espina bajo tu cama
Rebecca 'Pete' McPhearson is a hobo-gypsy, currently living in the back of a car somewhere in central Europe. She likes to list.. more..