Inappropriate moments

Crazy is as crazy does - no matter what it says.

I want to say ‘I love you’ at the most inappropriate moments. It could be anything; perhaps to a waitress because she smiles as she puts down my coffee, or in response to a poem, or to a drunk who cries because he can’t tie his own shoes.

I don’t know why. In these moments I have an ache, a burning desire to tell a stranger that I love them. I feel it in my chest, in my throat, in my fingertips. There’s a moment of some unknowable connection and in that moment I am in love.

Perhaps the light in her eyes reflects back to me someone I lost. Maybe a poem or just a comment on something I posted speaks to me with voices from the dead. Or perhaps just some small act of kindness reminds me that I am not alone in the world.

I never speak it. Sometimes I wonder if I should. Perhaps I should love everyone, open and even. Perhaps the world is a beautiful place and people would accept it for what it’s worth. I’m afraid that people will react badly, that they will be uncomfortable, offended, or perhaps even try to make advances.

I think that I might be broken, to feel this way with so little provocation. I worry that I feel a loss so hard that I project a memory of beauty into everything I see and everything I touch. But these fleeting moments, like butterflies, like gasps of cool air, like lightning strikes; these are not to be tainted with the rumbles of thunder. So I never speak it.

I breathe. I feel the tingle in my body. I close my eyes.

In these tiny moments, in my own fucked up, crazy way,

I love you.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

Hey, I love you too! ;-)

I like this one a lot, we all need to feel that connection...probably would freak strangers out if you went around saying 'I love you' all the time, but I do understand where this is coming from, an ache to have a free heart and some kind of invisible spark or affinity with others.

[gcp]

Aww thanks :)

Good to know that it's not just me ;)

Thanks for reading :)

[Eagle Cruagh]

I love the part about "a tingle in " your body.
I like how you feel that you might be broken.
Awww , I feel that a lot, but probably won`t tell
you what I think.
---- Eagle Cruagh

[A. Amos]

I like the atart and i adore the ending, your word define your soul is pure and full of love. Well the world need more people like you to make it a better place...

[Antara Kundu]

When I go through thought-pieces as this, I can truly appreciate how instrumental online writing communities can be in the matter of encouraging us to express our deepest, truest (and maybe - weirdest) emotions, which might otherwise end up suffocated within us. Not many of us are lucky to have sensitive ears in our physical circles.

Yes, there are beautiful minds out there that are drying up in their own loveless and claustrophobic pockets. A note of appreciation, a listening ear, a simple smile or a promise to remain in touch has the power to light up lives. But do discriminate, Pete. Not everyone is worthy of your gesture of goodwill.

[Pól]

true love is usually fucked up

[gcp]

Valid point ;)

[Jturner1973]

I love you too, reading things like this reminds me that there is still good in this world. If the majority our world's population could feel that feeling, and truly know how it feels to love one another for no other reason than just being alive,,,, WOW what a wonderful place this planet could be.

[gcp]

Aww thanks :)

Yeah - as the late great Bill Hicks put it - it's just a choice - right now - doesn't cost money - doesn't take any effort even - just a choice - between love and fear - make the world better.

[David Scott]

I really liked every bit of this except the second to last line. You are not the one messed up... to love and feel empthy is to know the nature of your Creator. It is the only reason for us to live in this world still. to know love and to show it to others. It is not safe and it will not be accepted by many or even most, really. Yes, some would take it as an invatation and make "advances". So be safe and be smart, but find a way every day to give your love a voice like this write. To touch someone in pure kindness. Nourish this feeling, this gift, inside you. What you feed will grow. What you practice you will perfect. What was in the beginning will be again in the end. Live this memory of love and project it as far as you can.
Loved the write!!!!

[gcp]

Aww thanks :) I guess 'Be the change you want to see in the world' :)

glad you liked it - thanks :)

[SAM D]

dasdd

[SAM D]

I LITERALLY just got dumped so. . . . . that sucks and your thingy of writing is good, but the whole love thing kind of brings me down. . . . :(

[gcp]

Awww -- sorry to hear you got dumped - hope you're on to better things now

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I think some of us crave love and we have been taught somewhere in our past, that one gets love by loving. I empathize, I think I know what burns inside of you. I feel it too. All I can say is guard your heart young lady. We live in a cruel world where people will not hesitate to take advantage of those who share this afliction.

[gcp]

Yeah - it's a bit sad though, isn't it? That the whole flock of doves must live in hiding for fear of a few hawks?

"There are a thousand shades of white
and a thousand shades of black
but the same rule always applies:
Smile pretty and watch your back"
-- Ani Difranco

[Creepy Swine Guy]

People have no concept of love anymore. Love is, "I care about your happiness even though you seem to have forgotten about mine." What people feel now is that thing that evolution installed in order to insure the propagation of species. That's what we call physical yearning. And the thing is ... you can have a physical yearning for one person one day ... and for three different people on the following day. You want to understand love? Watch how a dog treats his or her people.