The Familar

Inner mind

Don’t we all live in boxes to some degree? Aren’t we all anxious of turning the doorknob of life and stepping out into the sunlight of change? Aren’t we all fearful occasionally that the brilliance of something new would blind our eyes, pierce our heart or challenge our common sense; leaving us naked to our insecurities? The box that I have become habituated to is my coverlet, my pacifier, my safety net.  I don’t feel shame for craving, and desiring the reassurance of the proverbial even if it doesn't suite me. It’s comfortable to be nestled inside  surrounded by the warm and familiar pictures of my past.  Whether good or bad, those images hang on the wall of my mind and remind me of the choices I have made to define me.  The mere contemplation of venturing  into a new relationship  leaves me with the aspiration to coil myself up into the fetal position and cry.  I want to give my heart to something or someone to love and cherish, but the prospective pain that newness can bring infuses fear in me and leaves features of my life disheveled and in disarray.  Is it wrong to shield yourself from the pain of investing and recreating your heart once again? Starting over? Moving on?  I don’t feel shame for not wanting to say goodbye  in a barrage of tears that I don’t understand and probably never will. However, I hold onto the belief that change can one day bring happiness and return me safely to comfortable nest I’ve grown to love; the familiar. 

Reviews

[Tovli]

very nice. sorry it has taken so long to comment--it has been a crazy few weeks toward the end of 2010. Nice poem, simple in its concepts with a balance between focus and motivation. tovli

[Helen Crutchett]

Wonderfully penned indeed. You have used the 'ten' in a creative and meaningful way. This was an honest write from deep within your soul. I can relate to this write......well done! thank you for sharing.

[angelina neves]

very emotional!
... there are times we fear...
but, for me, to be alive is to change every day!