BOX
REMAINS
PROJECT
OUTSIDE
FOREVER
MORE
VASE
ACT
ILLLUSION
BREATHING
My life often remains locked in this brown and charred box of my own making that I keep under my bed. I fight to get out of these constraints and find the simplistic normalcy that I know is out there somewhere, but I can’t. I can’t, because I’m trapped by my own crippling distorted illusions of what I think happiness means. Power and strength are things that leave me breathing and wanting more as I stumble and shake behind realities door. I wonder if the yellow roses in the vase that sits upon my shelf is laughing at me because they know in their confinement; they have more autonomy than I will ever have. I need freedom, but where is it hidden? Will I ever know that sweet nectar of freedom? Will my wings fly and touch the grey blue clouds that cover the earth with soft cotton? I seem to be outside of myself most of the time. I’m a foreigner looking into myself. I see this stranger acting out a part and I keep acting and trying to reach others unrealistic expectations of me. How long should I act this part? How long should I pretend to project something that I don’t even understand; forever? Am I doomed to never be satisfied with me? Will I?