Untitled (in progress)

My first attempt.

 

When Dunamis entered the fairy world, he was afraid.  He knew he had reached his age of maturity and what that meant. Every dragon who reaches adolescence goes before Agall to be tested to reveal a pure heart or to identify the dragon who's destiny it was to guard Neos; the keeper of the Emerald Charm. The prophecy states the protector of Neos will save Soteria from destruction.  It made sense why Dunamis was uneasy because if he passed the test, then he would be allowed to enter the sacred hall of hope and he would feel the warmth of kindness resonating in his veins wiping away the darkness of evil that loomed to consume him if he failed to pass the test.  He shuddered with the thought of his fate. If he failed, his heart would be blackened and sealed with evil and he would be sent to guard the palace of torment for eternity; chained and shackled by misery. Dunamis dreamed he would be the answer to the prophecy.  The prophecy was that a dragon of great kindness would be realized by the fairies and then our saviour would be annointed as the protector of the Emerald Charm and Neos the keeper of the stone.  He dreamed of this, but he knew, the story tellers recited the prophecy and it was just that; a story.   Dunamis was afraid of being sent to the palace of torment because that would mean that he would never be able to recieve or give love ever again.  So few dragons ever get to feel that tenderness that only kindness can give and Dunamis wanted it and needed it. 

 

 Agall, the fairy of joy was sent to administer the testing. Agall flew into the testing arena with cause and command.  Dunamis prayed that he would be the chosen dragon to guard the emerald charm, but he knew the prophecy was written that a brave dragon shall be the one to guard the precious charm and he convinced himself that he was too weak to ever guard the emerald stone.  The chosen dragon had to be brave, strong and of pure heart to be able to protect Neos from the destruction that held her fate.  Neos needs protection because she is the keeper of the emerald charm. 

 

Agall, called Dunamis to the center of her realm marked by dust that sparkled like diamonds.  Dunamis walked uneasily to the center of the fairy realm and faced Agall. Instantly the dust circumscribed the unsure dragon and held him securely in place. Agall, said “Don’t be afraid Dunamis.  Just listen to my words and listen to your heart.” Dunamis obeyed her command.  He took a deep breath and closed his eyes and stood still while the test was conducted. 

 

Agall, fluttered around the 30 foot dragon pulling her hand and touching each scale one by one.  She touched his eyes and said “If your eyes be clear than your eyes will see the love when the shore meets the sea.” and then a light shown through him and Danamis was transported to the calming emotion of the sea and he embraced it.  Agall, went to his ears and chanted these spiritual words “if your ears be wise let them hear the knowledge the ground gets from the trees” and as her words pushed through her lips, Danamis fell to his knees and touched the ground and he could hear a myriad of conversations taking place under the soil to the trees.  He felt at peace with the knowledge of the secret underground world. He was wiser.  Then Agall floated joyfully to the heart of the dragon and whispered “if your heart is pure, unselfish and kind, it will defend in any troubled time” The dragon’s breathing became frantic and he shook with fear, but he flew to the charm and held it there and faced thousands of dragons to protect the keeper of youth and after he fought and saved the emerald charm from possession and destruction by evil hands, he lay at the feet of Neos as she caressed him as his spirit left his body.

 

As Danamis envisioned his fate, Agall gasped at the site of the charms image appearing on his scale.  It was clear!  Danamis is the prophecy.  “It’s Danamis!  It’s Danamis!” she exclaimed as she flew over and over again in circles.  “We’re saved!  The prophecy is here” and she was singing as she flew to find Dika the Godess of the fairy world. 

Author's Note

My first attempt at writing a story.

Reviews

[Leah Elisabeth]

Ancient Greek, interesting, although I was a little bit skeptical of the fact that he was appointed to save a country called salvation. You changed the spelling on Dunamis in the last paragraph and there were also some other spelling and grammar mistakes, watch out for run on sentences. Also, your story is a little bit abrupt. Your story could have been at least three times longer and not have had too much in it. The part of the story that needs the most work is the introduction. The intro can make or break a story because it is in those first few paragraphs where someone will decide to keep reading or to find something more exciting. I think you have some great creative ideas and, considering this is your first story, I think this is well done. Keep writing and revising!