Wish I could

Others perception of another’s love

No one can see how much we mean to each other. No one can see the linear path we are on to an axis of our own reality that we are nourishing together everyday we talk, text and hold each other.

They look at this situation and they can't see the fight we are fighting to keep the respect and love in our relationship our own...when we are in a situation that beckons a static visibility and a painful pull out of the shadows that we try to protect and shelter our love in.

I wish i had the power to lay my hand upon them, and bring them into ur eyes and into my heart and connect them to us and our metaphysical ties that binds us in a reality and the spiritual plane that even we are just learning to recognize, understand and express. To share the gentleness we share and giving them our wonderful experience, they would understand....us... time standing still but yet speeding by like the sound traveling over an instruments strings. If I only had that power.

I just wish I could make them all know that it's not what they see at the surface of the water, which is superficial and self-serving and amoral, but rather love trying to emerge like a flower does in a desert or from the earth amongst the ashes from the reminisce of a fire. Reborn... green... tender.

I wish I could

Reviews

[JayG]

Your letter to your friend was deeply touching, but it somehow got lost in the mail and was delivered to our writing group, instead. Unfortunately, since we know neither you nor your friend, reading of how you wish things were different induces no emotion in our hearts, other than perhaps, "Aww... poor baby." and I doubt that was your goal.

So a suggestion. If this truly was intended for us, then address the reader, not someone unknown to the reader. And since you're giving your reader a gift of your frustration, phrase your missive so the reader feels the same because you make them recall such a situation in their own lives. In other words, don't tell us how you feel. Show it, by making us feel that way.

In this your approach is fact-based and author-centric. But that's the nonfiction approach we're taught in school.

A really great resource, one I recommend to anyone who writes, is Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. You can download a PDF copy here:
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

Try a few chapters. You'll be glad you did.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/