Reflections on the Water

Inspired by an image

Reflections on the water

Of the beauty up above

Reflections on my heart

Show the beauty of my love.

 

A golden orange sunset

Twice seen -- above, below..

Like mirrored hearts of lovers

Into each other flow.

 

Gentle reflection, peaceful mind

Calming love, tranquility

In a time when life is kind

And heart is singing joyfully.

 

Look deeper in tho’ you will see

Scars of childhood lost to thief

Replaced by loneliness, no longer free

Burdensome secret led to grief.

 

See reflected journey of pain

Silent, alone in isolated shell

Not quite madness, yet not sane

Reflections of that living hell.

 

But scars will fade and in the haze

Hell from which escape was made

Grows dimmer through love’s glaze

No longer need to be afraid.

 

Reflections on water

Of beauty above

Reflections on my heart

Show beauty of my love.

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

It's rare to see formal poems these days. Am I glad to see one! Still, there is inconstancy in syllables that need to be straightened out, and the refrain isn't much effective. And some lines just seemed like fillers, or in some cases, disconnected - "Reflections of that living hell.", "No longer need to be afraid." respectively.

Don't get me wrong, I always point out the mistakes out first. So, other than the mistakes, I enjoyed the imagery and the classic tone. But as I said, I'd give a 100 for trying the classic style. And yes, librarying ;)

Keep writing.

[Greg Skura]

This is really good! i enjoyed reading this very much!

[Norma M Sutton]

This is beautiful!

[Dani]

Great imagery - I especially love the second to last stanza. The soft feeling of distance between you and what you were once so fearful of puts the mind at ease. I really like this, awesome write!

[Nothing Personal]

I love the opening stanza and the closing stanza (They are the same of course)..Deep, reflective lines..I like the ambivalence..A very nice philosophical write..I also admire later in the poem, you instill doses of hope..But honestly those four lines..made me smile :-) Great stuff GK

[Art Sun]

Nice work...we all have those reflective moments where we can look, search, or feel those times gone by...

[E.H. Monroe]

Dual meaning poems live in the world of depth. The reflection of something like a sunset can placate the soul and burning demons, but something like a scar is only a reminder of s**t that has gone heinously wrong. The you see, I see game that is never the same with different sets of eyes.

I'll have to heck out a sunset off the pulluted Hudson River. The effect may be slightly different

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Great imagery, the flow was so smooth and perfect, Beautiful write!

[InkSlinger]

This is where I bow down to mastery.. super write.. The meter and rhyme are perfect. I love the way it just rolls of your tongue. Not to syrupy, or to heavy with sentiment, just right. The image, coupled with the words entice and excite the senses.. Thanks for sharing this masterpiece..

[Kerry O'Connor]

What a lovely, gentle read this is. the meter and rhyme give it a wonderful flow to suit your theme.