wet eyes

Wet eyes: it's about a dieing woman whose husband was helpless and depress and confused.

Oh my dear sweet honey pie,
am staring at you with wet eyes;
can't stop counting the drop of rain
as my soul is dash with deadly pain.

Oh my dieing sweet wife
you are like a hair pluck from my life,
feeling your warm hands turning cold over night.

Author's Note

What do you think of the poem

Reviews

[¿]

Feels like that person experienced his forlorn and most gloomy heart at that time.... Demise of beloved ones are never something to be calmed on.....the deadly pain is beyond miserable....
You expressed things well...at least for me....thanks for sharing :)

[Carla]

I really like this poem, it's short and simple yet it shows great emotion and pain in its lines. Well done

[barleygirl]

Your writing style is original & interesting. I love the way you show instead of tell by describing how this guy's pain looks, instead of saying how he feels. The only thing that's a little strange is how the rhythm feels a little bouncy and your word choices are not dripping with sorrow . . . maybe a little more upbeat than one might expect in such a situation. In short, the SOUND of how your poem reads does not match the dire sad message. In time you will learn to pay attention to how a poem sounds, as much as the message being conveyed thru your words (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie