Blindness

This will be the print on the cover for my new book!

BLiNDneSS

I’m blinded by tears, by fears, by all this unnecessary years. Is there a point to live? Should I even plan my future? To get married and have kids? Because without you, I wouldn’t know what to do.

You’re so blind to not see how I feel inside

The fact that you think that I’m shy shows that I put on a good disguise

You don’t realize what I think or how I feel

Why can’t you just opens your eyes?

The fact that you would believe those lies.

Just makes me want to lay down and die.

Why are you so blind ?

All the time that has passed and you still don’t know who I am!

Is it possible? Are you dillusional? Are you mental ill?

Or has it been me all along? I don’t want to end up like another sad love song!

I want you to care. I want you to look in my eyes and tell me that you’ll always be there.

Apologize for what you’ve done so I can slowly move on.

I want things to change and go back to being the same.

Life is a board game, so I know there will be twists and turns.

But do we have to play as if it like monopoly. Where it’s cruel and unfair!

Open your eyes and realize, understand what I feel inside so I can no longer cry and all this pain will just reside.

 

Author's Note

Good or Bad? Should I continue for this book?
Its about two friends who parents are blind.. One is a bald girl who is use to getting everything she wants, but inside is internally dying. Another is about a guy who lives with his rapist father and no one understand especially not his blinded mother..

Reviews

[SarahCortland]

I like it gary. However why did you put it as a poem? If it's like the beginning of the story? Anyway I really do like it all your ideas for it are good. What did you end up choosing?

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Gary,

Very impressive write...It has rhythm and rhyme...You've got talent...May your gifts expand over the coming years and may many be touched by your gift in a positive way...Sunflower...

[Poeticpiers]

well presented poetic prose Gary but poetry requires meter.
To write good poetry requires you learn the basic underlying rules

[Domenic Luciani]

Poem was reasonably good, but the story sounds like a soap opera that my grandma would watch..

[S. G. Webb]

Great flow man, I could see this behind a track.

[Sofia N]

this is really good..you should definitely continue on it...I love the ideas that you have..kepp working on it. Great job :)

[H-Jonesy]

few spelling mistakes but hey, i shouldnt be talking ^^
but i loved this poem, it told a story and thats what i love about it. well done

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is outstanding. I could feel the pain in your words. The flow of the story was very good. The poem told a good story. A strong poem that is strong and with a purpose. Thank you.
Coyote

[The Perfectionist]

Well I wouldn't advise continuing if you can't fix your spelling problems.

First line "THESE unnecessary years." and "Is there a point to LIVING". There are a few more ("open" instead of "opens") a little later, but you can find those yourself if you care to look a little bit more closely.

I have to agree that this is probably the best thing I've seen from you, but that's not really saying much given my general opinion of your other work. It's not bad by any stretch, but it's not going to light the world on fire. As a cover, it'll do fine. I'd be more interested in the book.

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

This was absolutely great!!!!! Gary this is definetly your best and it was so good I was surprised!!!!! BRAVO BRAVO!!!!! I totally connec ted with this. Great job.

100/100