New Year's Resolution Time

From the book "Your Face Will Freeze Like That" and other stuff mom told us

Hi everybody. Happy New Year's resolution time! 

Yup. it's time to quit smoking if you smoke, quit drinking if you drink, and quit eating if you're fat. Now, choosing the lesser of the two (or three) evils, I will be working on the latter of the three.

I'm not going to launch off into this big federal case about being pudgy but, well, put it this way - you know it's time to lose weight when you're lying on the beach and Greenpeace comes up and tries rolling you back into the water. I guess it didn't help that I was wearing my black and white swimming suit, (hence the nickname 'Orca'.) 

 

It may come as a big surprise to many of you younger girls, but it's not just a matter of overeating or eating the wrong foods or not exercising that contributes to being overweight. Try bearing four or five kids over the course of a few years. I'm still carrying my post pregnancy baby fat - and it's irrelevant that my baby is almost twenty! 

Oh, I know. Those things are just excuses. The Brady Bunch mom had six kids and look how slender she was! Well, okay then. That's it. No more excuses! It's time to change my ways. The next time Burger Haven asks if I'd like extra pickles on my double slam quarter pounder, I'll proclaim loudly, "No thank you, I'm on a diet." 

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Hilarious start to finish even though can't guess if fact or fiction.. tho it not to worry, your writing talks truth and you're obviously laughing at yourself, as I am still grinning! 'Reckon if you read this every day for fifteen minutes, you'll be doing your own form of aerobics anyway! Great post, finely written, thanks lots for sharing. Happy New Everything! :)

[Mari' Emeraude]

Same to you emmajoygreen. I've already blown my New Year's Resolution so here's to another year of bad habits! lol

[emmajoygreen]

The best resolutions are the broken ones.. probably!

[John Sullivan]

I ate a whole pizza yesterday while smoking a cigarette. It was wonderful. Happy New Year!

[Mari' Emeraude]

haha! Yeah, I was looking at all the people at the fitness center yesterday and thought 'by next week they'll all be gone." Of course, I had no business judging them. I was observing 'em from the drive thru at Taco Bell ;p

[Gee]

Well that brightened up my dismal, grey, wet afternoon, nowt better than giving it to yourself:))
I know many a man that has to stand on or in front of a mirror if he wants to catch sight of his appendage, though why anyone wants to look at that has me shaking my head.
Enjoyed the visit

[Mari' Emeraude]

Happy New Year! Thank you for reading

[Rachid Amrani]

Your writing bears very constructive advice. Well written and convincing.

[Mari' Emeraude]

Thank you for reading, Rachid. :)

[Rachid Amrani]

You're welcome. Keep up the good work.