I Grew Old Overnight Vol III

Part III. Lemme Complain, Darn It, I’m OLD!

It’s after midnight and I’m sitting in my little studio apartment looking out at the cold, wet, snow. It’s hard to say which place feels colder or more dismal. I’m truly feeling my age tonight. I’ve noticed I even have a lap blanket on me now, just like my little gramma used to use. Now I know why so many elderly people have them. I suppose my circulation likes to be warm and cozy when it's sleeping! 

I have been fighting this early retirement with all my might. I don’t want to retire yet, but it’s not been as easy finding a job as it was back in the day, Plus, I’m so limited now as to what I can and can’t do. I can’t stand or walk for more than a few minutes. Fortunately, I’m still able to sit without much pain.  Gee, if I keep going like this, the only jobs that’ll be left for me are the ones where ya lie down (and I think those are illegal!) 

Oh, speaking of pain - why is it that when I find a great doctor, they quit, or start their own practice out of state - or die? It’s hard to find a doctor and develop a good rapport with them. I’ve had some wonderful physicians in my life as well as some real jerks! 

When I was younger, I recall one doctor in particular. He was great; very thorough and friendly, but ‘blind as a bat!’ My family lovingly referred to him as “Mr. Magoo!” When I arrived one day for my appointment, they ushered me back to the exam room where I’d have to wait for him to arrive. The nurse would pop her head in every fifteen minutes or so to tell me he was on his way but personally, I think he couldn’t find his way in from the parking lot. He entered the room, took my chart, and shoved it right up against his nose, trying to read it. “You’re mighty thin,” he said with concern, “so cold and thin.”  Of course, I had to inform him that that was the IV pole, and not me that he was examining. 

On another occasion, I had to go in for a suspicious lump on my collarbone. When he entered the room, he gasped...."What’s that horrible lump on your shoulders?” (I could only HOPE he wasn’t talking about my HEAD!)  My whole family used to go to him, but my dad seemed to have his own concerns about his "Mr. Magoo-y-ness.” He told me “I can’t trust the guy. He’s so blind, I went in for a tonsillectomy and he almost gave me a VAsectomy!” 

Poor Mr. Magoo. I miss him, and well, at least he called me thin. The doctor I have now doesn’t hold back....

"You're packin' on a little weight aren'tcha?” he said at my last appointment.  I almost said, "Come and say that to my face!” but with my belly fat, I don’t think he'd be able to get close enough.