He Loves Me He Loves Me Not

Just ask me and I'll tell ya, he loves me more than not
But excuse me while I phone him (I have this feeling he forgot)
He hasn't been by in a couple of months
But he loves me or at least I thought
'Cause it's been awhile since he told me that
He's human! He forgot!
Now I found this little daisy,
in the cement of a parking lot
And I pulled on its petals
refusing to settle
On the one saying he loves me not!

Reviews

[emipoemi]

I love how playful this is. It has such a fun vibe to it, like there's hope and reality mixing and meshing together in a bit of a game. Your musicality is a bit wonky in a couple of places, but the overall product is brilliantly constructed. Well done!

[Mari' Emeraude]

thx for readin'

[Twilight]

Oh, don't mention it.!

[Vol]

Mari',
Excellent stuff, reminds me of Dorothy parker, one of my favorites. Always bitter, always deeper than the rest.
Vol

[Twilight]

Yes, certainly playful.! The protagonist is pretending not to be angry, and trivialising her love loss; at the same time. The guy who has lost interest in her is inhuman rather than human, for abandoning this lovely woman..? Unless, their connection was no more than the outcome of a passionate but brief; one night stand? Either way, I am sure that the protagonist deserves a better man..? A tongue in cheek piece of writing too, of course.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

That's really wonderful to read. We often get confused about thinking that same thing. But the way you portrait here blown the readers heart. Thanks for sharing....

[Mari' Emeraude]

Thank you so much!

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

You're most welcome!

[andrew mitchell]

It’s rather sad this write , an imbalance of love and power between two. Where one has invariably moved on, saying anything to avoid conflict while the other holds on to a dream that everything will be okay. Nicely written.

[Mari' Emeraude]

A great perspective of the "other side of the flower." ;)

[emmajoygreen]

Fun, meter on the dance, and, full of maybes!

[Mari' Emeraude]

A kind of 'Russian roulette' in the love game! haha!!

[emmajoygreen]

Happens, games are like that! Good to see you now and again - been quite a few years. :) Amazing how footsteps echo at times!

[Rikkevi Rue]

Funny how all the earlier reviews skirt the issue.
"Love" can be pretty subjective. In my opinion, when it's real you don't have to conjecture on that last petal...
When love is real, he's there for you. It matters to him that you may be wondering or worrying, so he doesn't leave you hanging.
Months? I draw a curtain over my thoughts.
Your write I admire sentimentally, but the fellow it's about?
Clearly, he doesn't know how to treat a lady

[Mari' Emeraude]

I think as I wrote this, that old Diana Ross tune "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me" was playing in my head ;)

[Rikkevi Rue]

Haha! Good one

[Gee]

The sadistic death of a daisy to discover that already known :)
This had me smiling

[Mari' Emeraude]

lol a.k.a. 'forced love!

[mou]

I love the subtlety and gradual construction of the plot!
- mou

[Mari' Emeraude]

lol Ya might say this was one of those forced 'you're GONNA LOVE ME moments!" :D

[mou]

Yeah, I can relate to this :) :)

[Chris Shaw]

Delightfully playful and conveyed so well. Thoroughly enjoyed Mari, with your intelligent use of rhyme.

Chris

[Mari' Emeraude]

Thank you, Chris

[Thomas W Case]

Superb work. Very enjoyable.

[Mari' Emeraude]

I appreciate the kind words