Chapter 12

Chapter 12

He was standing very rigid, his eyes locked on hers. He couldn’t tell if what he said was getting through to her, but he had done all he could. If they were going to trust each other it was on her now. If she didn’t decide to trust him enough to give up some of her past then he was going to have to find a way to ditch her until he could figure out what to do with his situation.

Larissa sat very still watching him. What he said made sense, and she knew from experience that not having allies could and would eventually led to another falling out, another situation where there was no one to take up for her, where she would end up being a scapegoat again. She did not want to go through that again. She barely got through with the skin still on her back last time. What was she going to do? Could she really trust this guy. Obviously the council thought there was something going on with him and didn’t trust him, but why was that? She was going to have to give a little to get a little, she decided. Besides the council could have its own agenda as hers had.

“I had been with my compound since I had been turned.” She began, looking down not wanting to meet his eyes. “You are at least supposed to have some kind of bond with the one who turns you, but hadn’t agreed that should be turned because I was a mercenary, a hitman with and unnatural skill.

“So from the start he wanted nothing to do with me. Instead of teaching me he left me to my own devices. I thought I could handle it since I had been such a loner in life. I soon realized that there was too much I didn’t know and could learn without someone to teach me. I went to my council and asked for someone to teach me. Apparently they hadn’t known that Mark, my turner, hadn’t been in touch with me since I had been turned.

“Mark was well liked and respected by everyone in the compound, so when the council had publicly punished him and forced him to teach me everyone turned against me. They all shunned me like it was my fault he had broken the rules and been punished. Mark did as he was told by the council and taught me what I needed to know, the whole time telling me I was a mistake he couldn’t wait to put down when I went rogue and started killing humans.

“What he didn’t know was that the contracts I took were the exact same contracts that you hunters take. The bad. Those who preyed on innocents to make themselves rich. There was no chance that I was going to fall because of moral standards that I had held as a human.

“It was his insistence that I was going to fail that drove me, his disregard of the rules when turning me that and training me that pushed me to become an enforcer. So that I could prevent the same from happening to another, since the other enforcers in the compound were in Mark’s pocket.

“I learned quickly what he had to teach me, and he only taught me the minimum that he could. I went to the council and applied to be an enforcer. They agreed and I went through the training for it. I was good at what I did and moved quickly up the ranks. This made Mark angry, most likely because he was wrong and I was one of the best enforcers at the compound, and I was just with everyone. I treated no one any differently, including Mark.

"One day as I was walking down the hallway by the labs, I overheard Mark and a couple of the scientists talking. Mark was explaining to them why a certain scientist should be turned. This scientist was brilliant, and excelled in genetics. The problem with this particular man was that he had already been vetoed by the council because of his narcissism and utter disregard for life. He would go to any lengths to see himself succeed. This as you know would only be heightened by the turn, which is why the council had vetoed him.

"Mark was trying to get the scientists to agree about turning without the council's approval. I brought it to the councils attention and Mark being who he was said I was a liar. It was my word versus his and everybody believed him over me. They called it jealousy and a conflict of interest and said I had to leave. So here I am, talking to you.”

Though it had only showed for a second, he caught the deep hurt she was hiding. There was no way she could be lying and if she trusted him, then in turn he should trust her.

“I left my human life with no regrets, no attachments. I have lived a long and emotionally dead life.” He started slowly brow furrowed eyes on the floor. “This life, I mean. The second life. Since the day I was turned I have felt nothing. No excitement, no joy, no pain. I have been a machine. I am as good at my job as I am because there is nothing that can affect me.”

“Seth….” Larissa started but he pushed ahead like she hadn’t spoken.

“I hated life. My family was garbage, had no friends. I worked everyday from the time I was 8. My life was nothing but work and disappointment. There was even anything for me to cling to, no hopes or dreams or ambitions. I worked to eat to get up the next day and work.

“I was just a drone, existing because I could not even contemplate suicide. This was my mortal life. Why I was even approached to go through the change I have no idea to this day, but I was and I went because there was nothing in my life to lose. Once I went through the change my personality did not change it intensified my utter lack of disinterest. I was the same but with a new job, which I did with stunning accuracy and success.

“Or I did. Just a few days ago I was on a routine hunt. The trail took me to a secluded glen. In that glen was a girl. I had never seen her before. It caught me so off guard that I snapped a twig. When she looked at me I was lost. I felt myself drowning in her eyes. It was like I had known her all my life and I didn’t even know her name.

“I couldn’t even move till she broke eye contact. When she did I ran for all I was worth. I was feeling things, me feeling! I was scared and angry and happy all the emotions I had shut down even as a human.”

“It was then that I realized that my heart had started. I didn’t know why, still don’t actually, but it had. The part that makes it worse is that that girl is human.”

He looked up then with such anguish in his eyes that Larissa started to tear up at his pain. She looked down and shook her head.

“You don’t have to say more, Seth, I can see the pain this is causing you and I don’t want to be the cause. I know pain like that.”

"I appreciate the thought but this has been good for me. Maybe now I can move forward since I have dealt with these emotions some. I feel as though they were hindering me.

"I do want to say thank you. I did not think that you would understand. I was prepared to do what I had to, to keep you from telling anyone. I don’t feel like that will be necessary now. For some reason I know in my gut I can trust you, so I will.”

"I understand," Larissa grinned ruefully, "I had no given you or anyone else a reason to trust me."

A small smile played ruefully on her lips. “Well, I guess we have decided to trust one another, huh?”

“I guess we have,” he echoed her smile.

“So, Seth what is the plan here?  I will help in any way I can.”