AN OLD MAN TODAY

Today when He's old, He is reciting it, regretting it and feeling nauseated as he;s aware of the end that is approaching

AN OLD MAN TODAY

 

Today I walk Lonely,

Down the street,

Nothing but a cane,

Helping me stay on my feet…

 

I wonder about the days I could have had,

If I had given myself another chance,

Falling leaves would’nt have been so dry,

If I had taken out my lance…

Like a knight I should have taken that fight,

Defeating my fear,

Would have been victorious,

Before Aurora’s ray of light…

It’s too late,

To look back then,

Have no reason,

I’m one among old men…

 

The most painful part,

I had to bury,

My best half…

Departing words,

Engraved in my heart,

Forever and ever,

Like an unforgettable art…

Everything’s lost,

But I walk,

With no one to talk,

I just walk…

Sometimes I limp,

And tremble that’s all,

Aching are my bones,

Desire is for one warm shawl…

Skies are dark,

Cracks beneath my feet,

Time is passing,

People are giving me the creeps…

 

Down below the earth,

I am now summoned,

My mistakes My sins,

With me soon be coffined…

Drowned I have,

A long time ago,

Numb are my veins,

Reminiscing moments that forego…

Leftover what I feel,

Helplessness with,

Which I deal…

 

And today when I walk,

I’m a regretful Old Man,

A regretful Old Man,

A regretful Old Man…

Reviews

[topsyturvy]

Two things. I didn't like the "people are giving me the creeps" line. For me it doesn't fit and doesn't go with the flow of your words. I'm 50/50 on the last stanza because it goes well as a whole and it fits. I guess I don't like that you repeated it thrice, but then again it fits and well, it fits haha!

[Gaurav Walia]

Thank you for your feedback...

[MoriartyMesa]

On an other side of the world, there are men who walk my streets and must have the same thought on their minds.

[Gaurav Walia]

I'm pretty sure about that.. thanks for your review :D

[Divya Punjabi]

innovative concept indeed.. congratulations.. its an awesome peice of ART :)

[Gaurav Walia]

Thank you, Divya.

[Divya Punjabi]

my pleasure :)

[silasa]

truely a heart touching writing...
giving notion of reality ! well done :)

[Gaurav Walia]

Thanks a mill, Silasa... :D

[Akashi]

Beautiful, simply beautiful. You have left me in tears, my dear friend.

[Gaurav Walia]

thank u so much, Friend.. This poem was just a mirror reflecting tomorrow that depends on our today...
Thank u Akashi...

[Akashi]

You are most certainly welcome, my darling. It was a pleasure to read your marvelous work.

[smilempsn]

That was a nice n with feelings story wrapped in poem ..

I loved the middle part of it....

'The most painful part,
I had to bury,
My best half…

Departing words,
Engraved in my heart,
Forever and ever,

Like an unforgettable art…
Everything’s lost,
But I walk,
With no one to talk,
I just walk…'

this part was beautifully portrayed...

[Gaurav Walia]

Thanks a ton.. I'm glad that u liked it... :D

[smilempsn]

:)

[Shivam Murari]

The most painful part,
I had to bury,
My best half…

These are the most painful lines in the poem. There is such an intensity of pain in this poem that one wonders whether to continue reading or not! But the captivity is so strong that you couldn't help! Vey nice work!

Perfect 100

[Gaurav Walia]

Thank you so much Pal.. :D

[Shivam Murari]

ANytime! Check my Read requests too, mate :)

[Gaurav Walia]

Certainly , Mate

[Prritiy]

I wonder about the days I could have had,
If I had given myself another chance,
Falling leaves would’nt have been so dry,
If I had taken out my lance…


Like a knight I should have taken that fight,
Defeating my fear,
Would have been victorious,
Before Aurora’s ray of light…

Nice composition. A lament many of us have/will have when we are in the last moments of our life, thinking what we could have done and how.

[Gaurav Walia]

Indeed, That is life...
We should be thankful for what we have right now because we might not possess it tomorrow. Today we have time so we can make a good use of it or just let it slip and when the time comes we'll be left with our sweaty palms and regret...
Thank you so much for your kind review.. :D

[Prritiy]

you are welcome :)