Haven of Obsidian

 

The deepest crevasses of my soul
Are the pitch black havens, my only true refuge
To others, it seems as if I’m always lost
Always gone
To others, it seems as if my mind’s been eaten away
The flesh of my broken heart is decaying

But others don’t matter,
Not where I’m going
In my refuge, I can forget
My secret haven is as dark as obsidian
It is where there is no sight and sound,
Where no thoughts can penetrate the protected surface of nothingness

I can reach out and feel nothing
My mind is lost to no imagination
There’s nothing here in my haven,
Nothing
I can forget about everything here, and there
Remembrance is to be forgotten

I want to shun the outside world,
To force all memories of them
Away from me
I want to forget them,
As I long for them to neglect all thoughts of me
I want to leave here.

I want to leave this ugly world behind,
For my frights and fears are long lost
I will exile myself from everything,
Locking myself away from them
Away from you
I hate this life

But no matter how much I yearn
Or how hard I force myself to believe,
I know that I’m eternally bound to this dreaded world
With chains and shackles
My refuge cannot be
My beloved haven of obsidian ceased to exist