He's Not Yours

He's Not Yours

When is it my turn?

When do I get to unbend?

When can I let go 

of the weight 

I volunteered to carry

for you

so that you can rest?

You get to disappear 

like it’s okay to abandon me

like it’s normal to leave me alone

with the heaviness of what you’ve carried,

of what I now undertake

but I have no such luxury.

I am still here.

I am still facing the wind.

I am still bearing your burden

so that you don’t have to.

I am still staring into the bloodshot, war-weary eyes

of the monster you’re trying to run from.

But that’s not fair.

It’s a battle, not a trap, not a trick, not a charade.

It’s real.

It’s tangible and it’s torturous and I’m sorry I couldn’t save you

but you’re not mine to save.