Look Down

I look down so I can't see you. When I walk, I walk with my head down like a habit, like an obsessive compulsive checklist that forces its way into my thoughts every time I go outside. Eyes down? Check. Turned away? Check. Walk away? I will if I have to; I will do whatever I have to to make sure I don't see you.

I know you see me. I know that sheltering my sight and keeping my head down doesn't make me invisible. It only makes everyone else invisible. For the time I walk without seeing any faces, I find comfort in the isolation that stems from a lack of human contact. You're invisible to me. Maybe I'm invisible to you anyways. 

Don't tell me to look up. Don't tell me that I'm missing wonderful things if I look down. I know what's happening around me; I am not blind. I look down because I'm afraid of the vulnerability of letting people see my face. I look down because I can't will myself to look at you anymore. I don't deserve to look at you. I don't deserve to see laughter lines etch your face over the years I don't deserve to spend with you. I don't deserve the sky, I don't deserve the stars. I don't look up because I don't deserve to see anything else. 

Reviews

[Laura Lynn]

This is interesting that we are not the only ones who look away, but sometimes we might develop a habit of looking away from people if we are afraid of it. It's a silly thing though some people don't like to be looked at and we all get in various moods. Yet looking is a great joy and should not be regarded as wrong but a way of seeing where we are going. It seems obvious and yet we don't always see what is right in front of us!

[Abhishekizy]

Emotions of a torn mind, well represented!! Keep it up buddy!!