A Prophecy of Kings

First draft of a fictional religious tale from within the world of my novel/series currently under construction.

Once upon a time, there was a young king who ruled over a vast, prosperous nation. He was a fair ruler, neither evil nor benevolent. But he lacked maturity and fortitude, two important qualities for a kingdom’s leader.

Within the first year of his rule, as King Admir grew more accustomed to the riches and power that his title held, a traveling prophet from overseas arrived in the capital. The nomad claimed to have a message for the king, a prophecy foretold by the gods themselves. As soon as Admir heard word of this, he sent his Honor Guard to fetch the prophet.

When the prophet arrived to the throne room, he praised Admir for his glorious country. As he began to pray to the gods for a long and peaceful reign, the king became impatient and interrupted the white-haired man.

“You say that you have a message for me, word sent directly from the gods for the greatest king that this world has ever seen. Speak to me now, I must hear the prophecy.”

The old man grimaced, and shifted his ragged grey robe but nonetheless proceeded. “The prophecy tells of two young kings of the largest realm. The latter is said to have been sent by Persiquies, the ocean god. Born on a cloudless night under a waning crescent moon from the womb of the former king’s eldest sister. This boy is foretold to be marked at birth by Persiquies, and he is intended to be the next king. The High King who will unite the world.”

“Ill-tidings are not welcome in my hall,” boomed Admir who had risen from his throne, red-faced and trembling. "Be gone from the city by nightfall or my guards will have you hanged upon my walls.” In silence and indifference, but with a note of remorse, the old prophet bowed deeply and departed, never to return.

In the weeks that followed, Admir prayed frequently and slept little. His mind believe the nomad’s warnings that he would lose his kingdom. But the next day his mind accused the man as false prophet. Elia, his eldest sister, his favorite sister, was childless and unmarried " yet still the king’s paranoia grew. Until one night, seven weeks after the prophecy was foretold, Admir’s sister feinted at the king’s celebration feast. Within hours, she gave birth to a baby boy, pink and uncrying.

When Admir received news, he abandoned the feast hall and climbed to the nearest balcony where he witnessed a cloudless sky. His mood quickly turned black and immediately Admir stormed towards the infirmary.

Elia and the child were sleeping peacefully upon Admir’s arrival, and only one nurse tended to the pair. The king hurriedly dismissed the nurse and stole his nephew from the safety of his crib. With everyone in the city attending the elaborate feast, there was no one to encounter on the short journey to the city’s harbor. A modest but constant breeze gently rattled the rigging of sailors’ ships as Admir stalked past, heading directly for the longest dock. The king paused briefly when he reached the tip, his eyes drifting to the child’s eyes. Bright, innocent blue looked back in curiosity. And then Admir noticed a curved triangle above the left eyebrow like that of a dolphin fin. With anger reignited, Admir tossed the bundle from his arms into the cold, black ocean. He did not look back.

A quick threat to the nurse and a lie to Elia was all that was needed to cover Admir’s tracks. And with his eldest sister crippled by grief and shunned for having a child outside of wedlock, there would be no more for the king to worry about.

Except that Persiquies could not let his own son drown, especially in his ocean. Whether it was the tides changing directions on that cloudless night or Persiquies’ dolphins at work, the bundle was carried safely to shore. A traveling sailor who had just lost his wife came across the boy the following morning and beheld it as a gift from the gods in exchange for taking his wife away too early. Thus the boy grew up as a sailor, passing through the capital every so often without the faintest idea of his origin.

When the boy reached the age of ten, he began helping his stepfather in any way he could carrying cargo or organizing receipts and other documents. On a fateful trip back to the capital, his birthmark was recognized by the former nurse who had been passing through the markets. Without a second thought, she sent word to Elia.

Despite Admir forgetting the prophecy told ten years earlier, his paranoid nature had not changed. With spies hidden across the city, the king soon learned of Elia’s discovery, and that a ship had been sent from the king’s navy to intercept the sailor’s ship after it set sail south of the capital.

Before the ship could return with the king’s nephew, Admir brought his Honor Guard down to the docks with a declaration of treason ready to sentence the boy to execution upon his homecoming. As the ship made its final approach to the docks, a strong wind carried across the harbor and unsaddled the king from his horse, sending him into the cobalt waters. A whirlpool quickly appeared where ripples had originated from the splash, sucking Admir into the depths of the bay.

Within minutes the naval ship arrived with the boy where he is reunited with his mother.  Given Admir was unmarried and childless, it is quickly determined that the boy is the heir to the throne. The next day he is crowned king of the country, under a full moon on a cloudless night.

Author's Note

The ending is abrupt and choppy, something that I need to work on

Reviews

[GwenLark]

I understand what you mean about the swift ending, but I feel the story has so much potential.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I was enthralled. Well done!