May Death Be Warmer than the Comfort of Religion

A short poetic brain dump of how I feel about heaven and Hell

Sometimes I fear what will greet me after death.

 

We think of something greater than heaven because we only think of here as a hell we made or we have become. Some people are so miserable that they believe being dead will make everything better. They won't have to suffer anymore. Here's my take on committing suicide if you're religious. Being dead wouldn't let you rest. You harmed your body, ‘your body is a temple’ , God made your body, so you should treat it as so. The hell you’re living now, will not end, but restart. Hell is composed of your greatest fears and eternal punishment. Since suicide is a sin, you need to repent. You are dead. You cannot repent, so you must pay the debt. 

Supposedly going to hell is similar to going to jail. You killed someone, you cannot apologize to them. So you serve time. A toddler hits another toddler, she starts crying , but they can't understand each other, so the other feels guilty and that is the punishment. Since you cannot pay the debt , you go to hell. Your hell, your biggest fear, you were already living and you died to escape it, now you pay the price of reliving it for the next lives you have. Through my eyes, You were suffering, and you end it so it is not eternal. Once you are dead, everything becomes eternal. You can erase yourself from existence but you cannot erase your existence from the world. Your hell that you lived, is still on earth, now spread to the ones that treasured you, and it is still with you. You died with it, therefore it cannot leave you, and now your body became the very thing you tried to escape. Like a moth to a flame, you were so desperate to feel the light that it led to your ultimate demise.

And those that don’t believe in heaven will still fall at the feet of the common perception of what god is. The deathbed is where we yield to what is beyond our comprehension , we pour our hearts into prayers, ones we refuse to speak because they sounded foolish falling from our lips, we behold our pride until it decomposes with your pleas to go down gently. We are only ourselves when we have lost the final thing to lose. We will mask ourselves beneath labels and call it a personality. We will beg on our deathbed to get into a heaven we do not believe in, as we are all just contradictions within ourselves. 

When you are face to face with the grim reaper, slowly being consumed by the numbness of death’s cold embrace, that is when your colors are as true as your unavoidable fate. I know that when my time comes, I too, will cower at the feet of the divine creator I never believed in. 

In the end, we are divine beings until we cannot ‘be’ no more. God doesn’t exist until we are at the mercy of a concept. If this “God” we depend on happens to be real, may he forgive me for my doubt. And if his judgment is not merciful, and despite my fragility, I am thrown into hell, may the frigid hands of death comfort me more than religion ever will.

Author's Note

Pls tell me what you think is good and bad! And I'd love to see any contradictions people have! This is just a fraction of the whole writing, I wrote much more but I liked this part the most!