Flirting With Danger Chapter 7

No escape

 

 What the hell had she been thinking? To dance with him like that, let him touch her…when she was with Richie…when she hadn't seen him for seven years… and he turns up out of the blue… and on the first evening, only hours after she'd seen him again, she behaves like that! Was she out of her mind? He'd swan off back to New York again and she'd be left there with her relationship with Richie in tatters. Okay, so she wasn't ready to marry Richie yet but there was something there between them. He made her feel good. She hadn't really been looking for a relationship at the time either, but he'd made her feel so good and they had laughed and talked…that night at the Montgomery charity function… there had been some kind of spark between them. Hadn't there?

What had happened? One minute everything was just…just…so damn good! They were melting together. Him and Charlie. They were even going to Georgia together…and then, bam! What did she mean, is wasn't the same? Well, okay, it wasn't exactly the same, cause they weren't working for MI5, but in a way, it was just the same… no correction, it was even better! Or so he'd thought.

"What's wrong?" he asked, holding his hands out to her, his face filled with uncertainty and confusion.

Seeing him like that, looking so at a loss, just made her more anxious. She couldn't handle it when he made her feel like that. She had moved her life on from all this…or so she had thought.

"It's been seven years Luke, but you're acting as if nothing is different!" she exclaimed, in a panic, edging back from him.

Where had all this suddenly come from?

"So are you," he came back instinctively defending himself. He changed his tack however when he saw her expression. "Look, I know stuff is different, but we are the same, you and me; we're the same people," he reasoned.

"No we're not!" she argued, her voice rising in pitch.

"Well, who are we then?" he snapped back.

She groaned, forced to answer, "We are two people playing this game until we get out of here tomorrow morning and find the surveillance discs. Then I go back to my charity work, and you go back to," she hesitated, "I don't know Adams, finding more criminals to put away I suppose. We live completely different lives now," she stressed.

A frown played about his brow as though her words had stung him. He studied her face, searching for something. The moments passed until he finally blurted out in frustration,

"Okay, I made a mistake! Aint you ever made a mistake Charlie? So what you gonna do, punish me forever for it?"

She put her hand to her head. "It's not about that. I'm not trying to punish you. I've just moved on," she insisted.

She had to be strong, she just had to be, because there was no future between them, and just him being there then was making her unhappy. God, she needed to get out of there.

"What, so that's it then?" he said, his eyes boring into hers.

The room seemed to hold its breath suddenly. As though something had just been said that couldn't be taken back. He was waiting for an answer and she had the feeling that her response would make or break everything between them. The finality of the situation hit her then, leaving a churning feeling in her stomach. But why? She had already made the decision that she didn't want to see him again seven years ago after he'd left. "But he left you then, so you had no control. Now you do," a voice in her head whispered. She hadn't had to face him then either. Time had just passed; it had been easier. Now he was there asking the question, forcing her to answer.

What was she going to say? She stood, her eyes clinging to his, eyes she might not ever look into again if she chose to push her point. Moments passed. The song came to an end and the disc stopped, throwing the room into a tense silence.

He couldn't believe she was suggesting that she never wanted to see him again! What never? Ever?

Finally, he put an end to the silence. "Just 'cause I was in New York, it don't mean I didn't want to see you…or wasn't thinking 'bout you," he added, unsure of what else to say.

After seven years, she'd assumed that she had faded from his thoughts. She wasn't sure why or how the next question had slipped out, but it had. "Were you?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied, grasping at hope, "all the time. You were my partner; I always missed that. Every time I was on a case, it wasn't the same."

Luke was relieved that he seemed to be getting somewhere with Charlie at last… that was until her expression hardened very abruptly after his last comment.

"Well, you'll find other partners no doubt," she said, turning from him.

What was she thinking of? She should have known the answer! The only way to stop this madness was to put some space between them, like she had before. She paced to the door but stopped in front of it with nowhere else to go.

He stared at her back, his heart sinking. He just didn't understand what was going through her head. But he had to try to get through to her. It didn't make any difference if he had new partners or not; he'd missed her.

"But we had some good times, didn't we?" he pushed with an uncertainty that simply tore at her further. "You and me, Charlie? Eh, Charlie? C'mon."

Yes they'd had good times… and bad too. But more than anything, they'd been some of the most intense moments of her life. She hated having to acknowledge to herself though that yes, she wanted those times back again. Damn it, she did! If she had a choice, she would swap her life now for the life she had then…before she used to get cold sweats at the thought of finding Luke dead one day, or standing and watching him being shot to death in front of her…before he'd disappeared and she'd convinced herself that her fears had come true… and definitely before three years after he'd left, when she'd realised that Luke leaving was nothing compared to the shock and pain she'd found herself in. That was the worst time of her life and there were moments when she had seriously doubted her ability to pull herself through.

But pull herself through she had. Okay, so she was never going to be quite the same again, but she had accepted that and found peace… that was until he'd turned up out of the blue earlier that day, reminding her of happier times and making her want those back again!

"Charlie?" he questioned once more.

She finally turned back to him, both hands in her hair, her head feeling as if it were about to explode.

"Yes, okay, we had some good times Luke, but you're not seeing my point!" she shouted, beginning to pace the room, holding her head.

"Well, what is your point then?" he shouted back, watching her pace to and fro, her eyes squeezed shut, her hands at her temples. There was something she wasn't telling him; he could sense it.

"I can't do this now; I'm not doing this now," she said to herself.

He caught her then in mid pace, grabbing hold of her elbow to halt her. "Doing what?" he asked with growing concern. Her face was a mask of pain.

"This," she replied, snatching her arm out of his grasp and backing away, "any of this." She turned, scanning the room through watery eyes for somewhere to go to get away from him. There was nowhere. She was trapped.

In desperation, she strode over to the window, fumbling blindly with the handle in an attempt to open it.

In seconds Luke was beside her, trying to catch hold of her hands. "Woa, wait a minute," he said, "what you trying to do?"

She pushed his hands away and resumed her effort to free the catch. "I just want some fresh air, alright?" she replied, trying her hardest to sound reasonable.

"Hold on a second will ya?" he said, grabbing both her hands and turning her to him.

"Get off me Adams," she demanded.

"Hey look, I'm just checking you aint gonna throw yourself outta there the way you're reacting."

"I'm not going to throw myself out of there," she said through gritted teeth. He failed to release her hands however and simply searched her face, taking in the dampness of her eyes with confusion and concern. "Oh good Lord!" she exclaimed, tugging at her hands. "When are you going to get the message Adams? I want you to go away and leave me!"

Did she mean forever, or just in that room? To hell with it, fine! He'd leave her to jump out the damn window if she wanted to!

Abruptly releasing her hands, he turned and strode away from her.

She finally found sanctuary in the icy cold night air after having dealt with the catch, thrown open the window and leant out as far as she could. Hanging her head, she gave into her emotions and sobbed.

With the sounds of her distress ringing in his ears, Luke charged over to the drinks cabinet to find something as strong as possible. He settled on a whiskey, grabbed a glass, along with the entire bottle, and strode over to the chess table to take a seat. Sweeping a hand angrily across the few remaining pieces on the board, they clattered to the ground whilst he planted his whiskey glass and bottle in the middle and began to drink. Stalemate.