Dead Beat Lover

I see you on the walls in the hall, where pictures of us

Stare back at me when I’m pacing back and forth

I see you when I open the door to my room where memories

Wrinkle the sheets where I sleep when I’m weak from a days’ worth of day dreams

 

I lay my head down on that pillow like you used to lay your head on my chest

And I forget everything around me and all I see is you in that white dress

Because that’s the only good memory I have of you before you up and left

 

And I’ll admit it- I’m stressed because I’m not impressed with any of the other girls

Their teeth aren’t pearls and their hair doesn’t curl like yours used to

And their body doesn’t move the way yours used to underneath mine

It’s not like I’m not trying, moving on isn’t easy when I can’t stop crying

 

I open my eyes and I’m twenty five and staring at blonde hair and blue eyes

As she’s standing across from me in the white dress I wanted you to wear

And I can’t help but stare through her as her face comes close to mine

And I’m dying inside as she presses her lips to mine

And I’m dying inside as we become intertwined that night

And I’m dying inside because it doesn’t feel right

 

I open my eyes and I’m thirty-five, seeing my child for the time

And as I hold her in my arms I’m wondering what ours would have looked like

 

Then I’m sixty and I’m listening to the radio on the porch

And my mind wanders to Canada and if you’re still up north

Or if you stayed single and decided to move away

Or if you got married but you both decided to stay

 

Day in and day out, I replay you in my head

Like my favorite song to listen to before I go to bed

And I dread waking up in the morning because I have to relive it all again

And maybe when you’re ready, we can try again

 

Because I don’t know a life without you

And you’re the only one I could be true to

I hope to see you when my feet turn blue

Cause when we’re both ten feet under

And away from all the thunder

All we’ll have is each other

And even though you kill me

You’ll always be my lover