It's all for you

I can't let you go

You are my oxygen. 
I need you flowing through my blood.

I need you inflating my lungs. 
You bring me to life.

 

You are my sun.

I need your warmth.
I need your light.

You bring me out of the darkness.

 

You are my smoke.

Poisoning my body.

Clogging my lungs.

Causing me to choke.

 

You are my doom.

Looming over me.
Causing me to tremble, to worry.

You are dragging me down. 

You are the center of it all.
My life.
My death.
It's all for you.

 

 

Reviews

[Erin Lee]

So true about love. It's always the ups with the downs. I guess that's why, in the end, with the ultimate love committment, they say "for better or for worse." And maybe that's what makes it so powerful. Again, another great write.

[Eagle Cruagh]

Sorry !

This reader just hates to see a lady defining herself by
a man and that seems to be what is happening, over and over again.

The writing is classical. You are a talented and imaginative writer.
It is such a shame that your subject matter is so flawed.

Mature individuals can not be , at one and the same time,
"doomed" and "saved" by the same person.
"You bring me out of the darkness."
If the person is destroying you, then seeing that person as
salvation, warmth and pleasure, is just being out of touch with
reality and that individual should be in counseling.

Please do not misunderstand; this writer is gifted, imaginative and
clever. The subject of her poem is the problem.

------- Eagle Cruagh

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very interesting, you showed how one person can be your saving grace and bad for you at the same time when you love them...

You are my oxygen.
I need you flowing through my blood.
I need you inflating my lungs.
You bring me to life.


I love that first stanza... amazing way to open the poem.

[Bryce Simonds]

Agreed with the dude below me. Caught me off guard lil, way to be! But when I saw the third, I figured you'd say something about darkness next in the fourth stanza, since you had sun in the second? I don't know, just something I woulda done. But good job dude. I know this is all about me anyway
=D!
just kiddin
haha
-Bryce

[J.K. (Not Rowling)]

I must say, I was blindsided by the third stanza... I was expecting you to continue with the positive view. I really like how you countered the positive with the negative (the yin with the yang, if you will). You tied it up very nicely with your last stanza. This was a nice, balanced piece. Well done.