Turning Blue

A bit dark and twisty for me.

Well it's time.
Time to say goodbye.
Tell my mom I love her. 
Tell my brother and sister not to cry. 

As I mount my chair, awaiting my plunge, I saw a glimse of you're face.
"I'm sorry I am doing this" I say, "But I can't do it anymore. This is too hard and I'm scared."
As I take the bathrobe tie and place it around my neck, 
I pray that heaven will be a better place. 

Once step is all it takes. 
One step to end my life. 
Here I go.

Everything is turning blue. 
It's all I can see.

The blue of your eyes,
The eyes that looked deep inside.

The blue of the sky,
The sky that looked upon us as we became alive. 

The blue of my jeans,
That were around my waist when we first met. 

The blue of the ink,
That covers every notebook with your name. 

The blue of the blanket, oh so soft,
That you would wrap around me when I wanted the pain to stop.

All I can see is blue,
And now blue becomes black.
I CAN'T DO THIS! I NEED TO STAY! 
I fight for my life, but it becomes a struggle. 

Slipping away, I have lost my hope.
It's a freefall, some kind of high.
But now I can see a light,
Now I can see the blue,
of your eyes.

You've saved me once again. 

 

Reviews

[Gabrielle]

lillian,
this gave me goosebumps.
you are such an amazing writer, i never knew.

[Lorna Lee]

What an awesome ending to an otherwise disturbing subject. You captured my attention so completely and took me down with you only to release the breath that I found I was holding as soon as I read the last few lines. Kudos to you for bringing a creative twist to a saturated subject. Not an easy task but you managed it with ease.

[Vatsayayana]

This is powerful and encompassing.
You made my skin shiver.
I love it I truly do, but ohhh so close.
To die so tragically.
Stunning, you've made me bow my head.
I'm looking out the window and all I see is sky.
Blue, blue sky.

[victoriaplum]

Gripping, a true expression of how we all feel during our teen years at some point or other. Well done.

[Catrinka]

a great write, crawling inside of depression and expressing it so well. Glad it worked out in the end,though, I always like the light to shine thru the darkness - well done!

[Too Simple a Simon]

Scary - from that point-of-view well done. Hopefully this is not autobiographical.

T'SaS

[T. R. Writer]

Wow, this is touching. Makes me wonder what went so wrong (besides the possible break up of her relationship). Suicide is never the answer though. I'm a mental health counselor, I'm supposed to say that :) But your story is very gripping from the beginning to the (thankfully) happy ending. You had my attention all the way. By the way, my favorite color is blue.

[Shadows of Sight]

Thank you for a happy ending! so many of these end up turning out sad and negative in the end.
I like your words, a memory, a foolish act and then redemption!
I like how the person depicted is saved by a loved one. It shows that love truly is a bond that when strong enought can't be broken!
Thank you for sharing this.:)