Deadly Fun

These lines can be and are inturpeted differently by everyone. But it all gives the same message.

Anybody wana play a game?

We'll start by rolling the dice. 
It's harmless im sure, only if you roll thrice,
Because three's the magic number.
It's when you ask for more. 
And the more you drink, 
The faster you hit the floor. 

Once you hit the floor, 
The world starts to spin.
You lose you're mind, 
And gain some sin. 

With all the sin, 
Your cup overflows.
And once you spill over, 
Off come your clothes.
It's something you can't stop, 
Once the game's begun.

So is anybody in for some deadly fun?

Reviews

[Angel Bird]

Sorry, but I'm not in the mood to play - not this kind of game anyway. The lasting hangover it always provokes is not what I'm looking for right now, and some of my friends not being my friends any longer because I freely shouted out what I think of them deep down within me :) :O

This is a wonderfully graphic, and even philosophical work. Why philosophical? - Because life somewhere is also some sort of game. Some higher power rolls the dice to decide to which parents, and to which society we get born. The ones who continuously ask for more and get richer with every rolling of the dice become greedy. The higher they climb - the deeper they can fall - Once they hit the floor, their world starts to spin they lose their mind, and gain some sin.

My favorite lines are:

And once you spill over, off come your clothes

This means to me more than taking off ones clothes, but for me this means telling the ones around what one is really thinking about them.

It's a great and thought provoking work. I like it very much! Kudos.

[Adela Muresan]

Kowel poetic presentation of the game of life x) .
Great, great write.

A.M.

[EdFutinski]

i love drinking(and a chainsmoker).I mean,it's not healthy and anything,but it doesn't make you a monster neither.In vino veritas

[justjenn_2u]

A subject I can relate to. The first drink is the last drink. The drinking never gets any better, it gets worse. I see wisdom in this poem. I admire that!!!

[T. R. Writer]

If only the dangerous of life that are disguised as innocent or even a little mischievious fun were explained this way, maybe it would save many people from unnecessary pain. Drinking, sex, doing drugs, whatever, often start off as rather innocent things and as your poem says, before one knows it, it is out of control and something very ugly and dangerous. Good job expressing this in so few words.

[Jacqueline]

Hmm...dangerous indeed! I loved the naughty intonation of this piece; it's so casual yet that element of danger is ever present. Entertaining and very teasing...

[Wolfwind Words]

This was great! The games of young adulthood.
How true when the alcohol runs through us, we get down and dirty on the floor
Great job!

[VERONICA]

ooh. I like the last two lines a lot and it flowed great! XD

"It's harmless im sure, only if you roll thrice,
Because three's the magic number."
Doesn't flow very well and definitely not as well as the rest of the poem. I also don't feel some of it is necessary. i.e. "Because three's the magic number" and by saying thrice the reader doesn't know if it's unsafe to be over that number or under it. It seemed rather vague compared to the rest of the poem which is much more explicit in what is happening.

Otherwise it's great and is very your message translates very well. I enjoyed it and it reminded me of The Dresden Dolls' song "My Alcoholic Friends" I'd suggest listening to it- it has a similar tone and overall feeling.

[Vatsayayana]

Wow, I LOVE how this flows.
This has such a myriad of emotions within it. There were times I laughed, thinking of college co-eds playing quarters. Then I'd gasp and think of how scandalous it would be to get caught sans clothing. But there's also that head-shaking fear of what can happen when too much alcohol pours freely. Stupidity, violence... rape. The list goes on.

I love your style. This is fabulous!
Brava!