PLEASE SMILE

PAIN AND ITS EFFECTS

Raised on wounds and harm,
until ,joy was lost from her life.
Pain reached here and there
grasping desire, swinging with it to the end.


As she walks around...
together ,with her deadly charm
victims started to fall
responding for what she asks for!
That all their hearts will be destroyed.

Instead of makeup she used their blood

Instead of love she only give a fierce eye

Wondering if i can hold or not
she asked friends of mine
"What level of love can he reach?"
All agreed that my level is high to be achieved
"If it wasn't for the missing of a smile from your scene
i wouldn't write this appeal

My dear..

Only true love will heal your pain

My dear

Only honest care will bring joy again

Author's Note

I wrote it to the I CHALLENGE YOU contest, in that contest they have post the pic of a weird female so ,please look at the pic before placing your reviews then judge

Reviews

[Lily]

I really like this, I get a strong feel of 'her', and how she used the people who loved her. But the sensitive approach at the end really pulls it together- acute observation of a human being. Pain breeds pain. I liked the line "Instead of makeup she used their blood".

[highthought]

its hard but i try to do it and that is to give solution for the problem spoken about in the topic of each poem that i write even if it divert the personality of that female....

[highthought]

thank you lily

[Aurora Lynn]

Great write! I love the lines 'Instead of makeup she used their blood/Instead of love she only give a fierce eye' The image that those lines gave me was a really good one. Great job!
~Aurora

[~Death The Kid~ ☜..]

this is good ^^

[alexlessah]

its really really good.

[Jess Holden]

i love the way you word things!!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Just a quick review.. i will be back to read this again as i am tired... as i read - i really like it and what you took from the image.. very nice HT..

Chloe

[A.E. Surdam]

Very nice, I love the imagery you used to create the beauty of the poem.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Fiercely over edited but flows perfectly, a well deserved slap a the modern world and all it's flaws, well done, great imagery.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I love the additions and the title change.. lends even more beautiful imagery to this poem and helps to solidify it even more. Amazing how a troubled beginning can set one on either a path towards greatness or that of self-destruction. The advice at the end would surely help one to get back on a path of greatness if one would but chose to do so. Excellence!

[Ravyne Hawke]

Excellent poem.. I really love the use of imagery in this piece beginning with the open line.. "She was raised on wounds and harm" that in itself is very telling of what this poem is about, even if the title didn't state it. Great job on this one!
I've added it to my favorites