PLEASE SMILE

PAIN AND ITS EFFECTS

Raised on wounds and harm,
until ,joy was lost from her life.
Pain reached here and there
grasping desire, swinging with it to the end.


As she walks around...
together ,with her deadly charm
victims started to fall
responding for what she asks for!
That all their hearts will be destroyed.

Instead of makeup she used their blood

Instead of love she only give a fierce eye

Wondering if i can hold or not
she asked friends of mine
"What level of love can he reach?"
All agreed that my level is high to be achieved
"If it wasn't for the missing of a smile from your scene
i wouldn't write this appeal

My dear..

Only true love will heal your pain

My dear

Only honest care will bring joy again

Author's Note

I wrote it to the I CHALLENGE YOU contest, in that contest they have post the pic of a weird female so ,please look at the pic before placing your reviews then judge

Reviews

[Lily]

I really like this, I get a strong feel of 'her', and how she used the people who loved her. But the sensitive approach at the end really pulls it together- acute observation of a human being. Pain breeds pain. I liked the line "Instead of makeup she used their blood".

[highthought]

its hard but i try to do it and that is to give solution for the problem spoken about in the topic of each poem that i write even if it divert the personality of that female....

[highthought]

thank you lily

[Sugar Plum ♥]

It`s really beautiful piece, I like your nice flowing verses and meaning...Love is great feeling, which can heal all, and most high of all.. Thank you! My favorite are last verses:

My dear..
Only true love will heal your pain
My dear
Only honest care will bring joy again

[Fréyjä Helv..]

interesting write. Dark indeed and well narrated simply though. It lacked the depth for me. But that's just me.

[Kriss_Rose]

I love it. Very interesting and dark. I think you're interpretation was phenomenal. Bravo!

[That_Girl]

It's dark and expresses your thoughts of the woman in the photo quite well.

"Instead of makeup she used their blood
Instead of love she only give a fierce eye" I can see it... love it!

[dunnia]

very deep and well thought out

[JiDonnelly]

There is nothing I can really say now that others haven't
But I will say I like the dark sides to this piece.
You have a unique gift, credit to you.

-JiDonnelly'

[MoriartyMesa]

I like the dark themes but more I like the flowing, esp:
As she walks around...
together ,with her deadly charm
victims started to fall
responding for what she ask for!

[Katy Stash]

It's sad but you have such an marvelous imagination

[Olivia Marie]

This is amazing... I wouldn't change anything! It's... perfect. So strong. I loved reading it, truly amazing!

[October Oblivion]

Wow...this is amazing... :) I love the descriptions you used here... *smiles* I hope you do well. Good luck. XD