PLEASE SMILE

PAIN AND ITS EFFECTS

Raised on wounds and harm,
until ,joy was lost from her life.
Pain reached here and there
grasping desire, swinging with it to the end.


As she walks around...
together ,with her deadly charm
victims started to fall
responding for what she asks for!
That all their hearts will be destroyed.

Instead of makeup she used their blood

Instead of love she only give a fierce eye

Wondering if i can hold or not
she asked friends of mine
"What level of love can he reach?"
All agreed that my level is high to be achieved
"If it wasn't for the missing of a smile from your scene
i wouldn't write this appeal

My dear..

Only true love will heal your pain

My dear

Only honest care will bring joy again

Author's Note

I wrote it to the I CHALLENGE YOU contest, in that contest they have post the pic of a weird female so ,please look at the pic before placing your reviews then judge

Reviews

[Lily]

I really like this, I get a strong feel of 'her', and how she used the people who loved her. But the sensitive approach at the end really pulls it together- acute observation of a human being. Pain breeds pain. I liked the line "Instead of makeup she used their blood".

[highthought]

its hard but i try to do it and that is to give solution for the problem spoken about in the topic of each poem that i write even if it divert the personality of that female....

[highthought]

thank you lily

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

How horrible it must be to be so corrupt that you must damage others to gain things you want. I known people like this. they break my heart.

[Elina]

This is very intriguing and I quite enjoyed reading it. I only detected a couple small points of error -- unnecessary comma, incorrect version of a word, etc -- but on the whole, this was well written. Lovely piece...

[Tina Kline]

I enjoyed this. Very dark, chilling and mysterious. There is a dark seduction here too.Pain of all kinds can do such damage to someone and real unconditional love can sometimes heal. An excellent write.

[Kousika]

A good flow of words.. I enjoyed.. Last lines left me blind..

[dan]

It's a bit of a rough transition from the beginning of the write (a SHE who seems terribly cruel and heartless) to the end when the SHE asks, "What level of love can he reach." The rhythm and pace of the poem is top-notch and the wording well done but for the matter of the disconnect between beginning and end. If I am missing the point somehow then I apologize. I will definitely be back to review more of your work since your raw talent is very obvious. take care, my friend...dan

[WordShaker33]

I love the flow and rhythm of the poem. Nice job

[Brittany Zedalis]

Wow, you've been on this site a long time, haven't you? I saw this was posted back in 2011.

Anyways, I really enjoyed this. It reads like a story for me. Great work.

[highthought]

i ve stopped writing long ago , i dont know if i ll come back ..still wondering

[Alicia Schroeder]

Very well put, great emotion :)

[Chain of Hearts]

Nice piece, very sentimentally written :)
Keep on writing!
-LK