WHO AM I ?

We do not know how , and why , but we feel it and we see its reacts

 

 

 

" Waves were high and wild

till I reached your sight

warmth , softness

penetrated  inside

once I saw your eyes

 

Attraction in your face

pushed beauty of the lake away

without permission from you to ask

hand was told by heart

"touch her face at once"

 

"Who are you? "

she asked.

I had the answer

but I was dazed by eyes

"No need to say names

common thoughts

took titles away "

That was my reply

 

One thing i said more

"I want you in life

you have the key of my hidden inside

from now and so on

your moves will dance together with mine

 

Reviews

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

one of my favorites so far really good read

[highthought]

Libby thx i ve managed it as u said

[Libby]

This is damn near perfection, just a few grammatical errors.
[When 'i' is used as a word it's capitalised 'I']
[of 'the' lake away?]
[Who are you '?']
That's it I think, hope this help. c:

[highthought]

heyley u re right, hope u like it now
all the best

[Hayley]

Very nice. Might I suggest using a different font? This is more of a serious poem and comic sans kind of makes it look almost childish.

I love ""No need to say names

common thoughts

took titles away ""

Good flow and it has a nice rhythm that I picked up on right away.

[JulieNorell]

This is beautiful! Very well writen! A few spelling errors but it happens to the best of us :) Good job!

[Magdelena]

Wow.. They say the eyes are the mirror to our souls. This I believe. Your poem reflects all I feel when first coming upon someone who captures your heart and soul.. Your imagery was gentle-like, rare in many.. I really enjoyed this.. To me, you told just enough, like a puzzle, you brought this forth.. Your third stanza took my breath away... For such beauty inside those words.
Now I am interested to see where the puzzle lies.
Mags xx

[highthought]

the person who love do care , he will work hard to know ur inside ,at then he will have the key ur inside
others do pass by, staying at surface
read part 2 , 3,4,5
more answers are there

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I wonder what the key of hidden is .. This is an interesting poem that speaks of love at first sight in many ways.
Like finding the special someone .
Your first verse is really good with your images ..

""i want you in my life

you have the key of hidden inside

from now and so on

your moves will dance together with mine"

Still wondering what the hidden key is.

Chloe

[Roseanne W.]

"you have the key of hidden inside"
SI like this line, i don't know if you meant it or not, but it just conjures up an interesting emotion. . .
It a nice poem, think it could use a little more imagery to strengthen it.