Indigo Lights

I wrote this while staring at the ceiling, wondering if they’re thinking about me too

Do you remember these lights?
Do you remember that night?
The night we chose these colors together
So we’d feel like we’re in the same room
Every night
Though, “every” lasted a day
Cause the night of the second
You left me
I had to change them, I had to forget you
Do you still remember our plans for that Saturday?
How we were going to be in each others arms?
You were supposed to catch me
But you left me in the air
There’s no way this is how it’s supposed to end
We were almost there, you gave up before it even began
There was no one in the way but our minds
Or maybe it’s just yours, I guess we will never know
Meant to meet, not to be
These lights still haunt me
The phantom of grief still lingers
There’s no doubt in my mind it’ll be there forever
But for now, till the end of time
Indigo will be our color

Author's Note

Please give me feedback on how to make it more poetic. This was an emotional write

Reviews

[DecentlyOkayWriter]

You were supposed to catch me
But you left me in the air
. . .
(I'm a bit of a thief, I'm stealing my favorite part and leaving it here.)

This poem. . oh. A forgotten unspoken promise, already broken before it could begin. To me, this poem feels like those nights where you want what you've lost, even if it's not your fault that it's broken, that it's gone. "Please give feedback on how to make it more poetic?" Please, this is as poetic as it could be, at least for me- I mean that as a compliment. There's no way to bend your words past what you know, what you've experienced, and I can tell you did that here.

Welcome to Writer's Cafe, I hope you're here to stay, and please, keep writing! ;]

[PABLOEVIL]

Very nice imo obv sm written emotionally but I think it's pretty poetic even without practice, maybe telling the story thru a metaphor would make it feel more "poetic" ig but I think it's really good as it :P

[Green]

I think it’s perfectly poetic already. There is no one right or wrong way to do it. I think the most important thing is taking a thought or feeling and making it your own. You did that here so in my unprofessional and very uncertified opinion, it is exactly as it needs to be already.

Now some more reflective thoughts:
This was rather heartbreaking to read. It was the quiet kind of breaking but breaking nonetheless. Your writing was stoic but impactful. It hit you right in the chest, especially when I got to the lines:

“Meant to meet, not to be
These lights still haunt me”

I was hooked from the beginning description and was so curious to see what would follow. I’ve definitely been in that exact situation myself and found it incredibly relieving to read that I’m not the only one.