Death's Patient

This is an older story i wrote a long time ago, its not all that long just a quick short story i wrote when i got bored in my science class in high school. Its about the last thoughts and actions of a man on death row and how he see's everything there.

    I can hear 'em now. I can hear 'em comin' for me. They say death is silent as the wind, but even the wind can be heard when it blows hard enough. Death's angels were on their way and the echoing footsteps gave way to that. I hear 'em talkin' amongst themselves in a way that I can't understand. I been waitin' for my time for over a year now. It ain't like waitin' on a bus where it just arrives an' then your where you gotta be. The inside of your stomach caves in on itself an' starts to dissolve. your mind falls apart tryin' to cope with the fact you ain't never gonna smell another pretty flower or say 'I Love You' to another pretty girl. 

    I can see 'em now in their uniforms as they unlatch the cell door an' in walks Death's voice, asking to say a prayer for me 'fore I go. I say to him "There ain't no point. They'd be fallin' on deaf ears." Death's Voice, unwantingly, accepts the answer an' they come an' stand me up. I ate my last meal earlier, not that I had wanted anythin' to do with it. Wishin' I had another one of them steaks and another pack of smokes to go through 'fore I went, but sometimes life is cruel an' the afterlife ain't too kind neither for people like me. They chain me up like i'm an insane person ready to strike out at any moment on some innocent passer by. 

   They hold my arms an' help me walk down the black road with walls lined with bars an' fear torn faces. they was Death's other patients, waitin' on him to prescribe them their antidote to life. In my mind what I done was right an' any other fool woulda done it to protect their own kin. I done what I done to gain justice and to right the wrongs done by another man. Commitin' rape on my daughter and murder to her husband ain't somethin' left up to the authorities; Its left up to me an' God. It ain't that I killed the sonava b***h, its how I done it an' even I won't admit to myself how it was done.

  I hear Death's patients whisper to me, saying they'll see me soon or that it ain't all that bad an' that I ain't gotta suffer too long 'fore it's done an' over with. I hear a buzzer an' my eyes snap to the door in front of me that swings open. Death's angels bring me forward into an uncared for room. It looked so lonely and sad I could almost feel it jump for joy when I walk into it. There's a seat, specially made for me as if I had a twin who knew me so well they done crafted me a chair to watch my football games in. I'm seated an' Death's voice steps forward and leans down to my ear and says a small prayer despite my earlier remark. It was a kind thing to do, but I ain't wantin' to hear nothin' that ain't gonna help me. 

  One of Death's angels speaks to a buncha people behind the glass wall. I felt like a goldfish in a tank, only I was suffocatin' due to lack of courage an' too much fear. They put a wet sponge on my head an' then they strap something atop that with leather straps that attach to my chin. The leather reminded me of the kind horse saddles are made out of, back when I was boy on my daddy's farm. I can feel myself sweatin' an' my hands're colder than a December night in good ol' Alabama. I ignore the noise around me and then i see one of Death's angels grab a long black switch. thats when I knew I was only seconds away from Death. I even start to countin' in my head. I almost make it to the count of seven before I hear the switch slam into the wall and then a loud noise like a swarm of angry bees who've just had their hive disturbed by a bear. Wonder if that was ever true?

Author's Note

the story is easier to read if you read it with a southern accent. Just let me know what you think! :D I know it was really short, but wanted people's opinions.

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Oh my..OMG! This was a wonderful monologue! With southern accent, it was if I could here the voice in my head and feel the sweat on my hands.
Your discription was perfect!
There were a few minor punctuation errors I noticed...but with the accent in mind...they gloss over.

This is the type of piece, that I would have givin anything to do on stage back in my college days!

Great Job!
Aaron Maycroft

[Lilith]

Lovely story! I really loved reading it aloud, mainly because I have a southern accent. Very good idea, and wonderfully written.