Four

I scan the large room, the smell of rubber and sweat fills my nostrils as two noisy children rush by me, seeing that my old favorite is free I start to walk toward the climbing wall. I approach the desk to sign out a harness that fits me as memories of running through this room with Luka flash through my mind. I had forgotten that demerits work these lesser desks and one hands me a harness with a polite nod. As I leave the desk I glance back at the man, already dealing with another customer, and a chill runs down my spine. Seeing demerits is always a little unsettling I remind myself, but I hadn’t interacted directly with one for years. They clean the city, deliver food, and repair broken equipment, so seeing them is a common experience. The city makes sure to keep them around, visible, as a constant warning. Step out of line, break laws or fight back against the generals, that could be you. I strap myself into the wall and start to climb. My muscle memory returned with every inch upwards, next rock, next rock, next rock. Something in the repetition of it all is comforting. My foot slip about half way up but my rope catches me before I even notice I am falling, like a protective parent holding my against the wall.

 

I start a new habit with the recreation center, going there almost every day after work. I have a pattern I follow, its safe. Get off the bus, sign in to the center, strap into the climbing wall, and climb until my arms feel like…well until I can’t feel my arms, repeat. The demerit that signs out the harnesses starts to know when I arrive and has my harness waiting for me. I want to thank him but I know better, conversations with demerits are strictly prohibited in the cities. So I climb, I climb a lot and I climb fast, I climb away from everything holding me back. After a month of climbing everyday my recreation time starts to slowly go down and down, in fact it goes down to the point where I can only get in a couple climbs before I have to leave the center. So that’s why I ended up rushing to tie my harness, and why I ended up rushing the climb, and fell. I was never afraid to fall off the climbing wall because I trusted my knots; so when I felt my foot slip I let myself fall away from the rock. Only this time when the slack in my rope ran out, after falling for less than a second, I didn’t jerk to a quick stop as per usual but continued on to the floor fifteen feet below. A few screams and a sharp pain later, I stare up at the ceiling feeling about as stupid as I’m sure I look. I see my rope dangling off the wall above me, taunting me; then I see nothing at all.

 

A memory forces it way through the fog of time and into my unconscious mind. I drift back to the last time I had hurt myself climbing.  My father had brought me that day; climbing together was one thing we could agree on in my childhood. It was repetitive and simple, no room for an argument, next rock, next rock, next rock. That day was the first time I had ever gotten hurt to the point of bleeding. Bleeding was just something you learned about in school, not something that happened to you while playing. Everything was too clean, too safe, for bleeding. So when I slipped and my knee caught a rock, the last thing a seven year old me was expecting was to bleed. Even the word seemed ridiculous to me at the time.

“Come on T. It will get better.” My father says as he gets the red liquid to stop leaking from my small wound. “New scars, new lessons.”

 

“New scars, new lessons.”

“Well that’s a nice way to look at it.” A friendly voice pulls me from my sleep. My eyes search the unfamiliar room I lay in, finding white walls, white floors, and a woman standing next to me. The surface I lay on is unbelievable comfortable, so much so that I don’t want to wake. I wonder to myself if the woman would let me just burrow into this bed and sleep some more. But before I have the chance to ask I feel one of the tubes attached to my arm being moved, a quick glance shows that the woman is injecting something into the tube.

“What is…?” I mumble before she cuts me off.

“This is a mild pain reliever. It will help with the head ache.” Headache? Oh yes…the pounding in my head.

“Hospital?” I question stupidly as I rub my temples. But the pain is already starting to dull and I can feel the medicine in my veins.

The nurse nods. “Central Hospital. You took a nasty fall but you should be walking out of here as soon as your file is reviewed by the head healer.”

Central hospital…that rings a bell. My head feels back to normal and the story starts to come back to me, the climb, the fall, and the rope dangling above me. I shake my head at my own carelessness. Unbelievable. I notice the nurse starting to leave, as she pulls open the door to my room to exit the puzzle piece slips into place and I call out for her.

“Theodore Arlo, he works here right?” A nod in my direction. “Could you find him?”

“That depends, what is your relation to him?” She questions, one eye brow raise accusingly.

“He…He treated me before.” Crossing my fingers she doesn’t see through my lie.