A Dance with Demons (AKA f**k Leo)

Okay, so this stopped being fun a while ago. While Nathaniel is perfectly polite and helpful, he isn’t big on talking. And while this is all top shelf liquor, I can’t get smashed before Leo answers my questions, so I had to stop three drinks in. And these books aren’t exactly browsing novels, more like intensive commitments. While I do indeed love reading, these aren’t mine to take so I’m not big on the idea of getting super invested in one.

Also, how the f**k am I supposed to concentrate when I’m in what appears to be the house of an eccentric billionaire after being stabbed by my neighbor? I am positively JONESING for some real, concrete answers. Like where in gods name is my scar? I was stabbed. I should be hurt, stitched, at least a thin white line for god's sake. But there’s nothing. Like it never happened. Imaginary. Dreamed up.

Wait, is the door opening? It f*****g is. Finally.

“You promised me answers, Leo. I want them. Now.” Confidence is good, right?

“But of course. I am a man of my word, Sebastian. Ask away.” Oh. He was a bit more willing than I had thought. I haven’t even picked a question yet.

“Why am I here?” Figure I should go with a good starting point.

“Because you’re the spawn of Lucifer.”

“Uh… ouch… I know I’m not the greatest guy but christ, that’s harsh.” Hang on, did he flinch when I said christ? That’s weird.

“I don’t believe you understand; you are a child of the Devil. As in, Lucifer pulled a Virgin Mary miracle, minus the virgin.” What the f**k is this guy on about?

“My dad was a bald plumber.”

“No, that was a gentleman whom your mother believed was the father. No real way to tell the difference when she didn’t sleep with anyone else.” This guy is very clearly nuts. Or maybe I’m nuts. Maybe both.

“You expect me to believe that I’m the son of Satan? As in, the antichrist?”

“Oh no, of course not. There are seven children, or so I’m told. Up to now, I’ve been the only one who has awoken. Anyway, none of us are the ‘antichrist’. That doesn’t exist.’” Awoken? The f**k?

“Slow down. Awoken? What is that, some whackjob cultist s**t?” I probably shouldn’t be insulting this guy, but hey, too late.

Oh no. He looks mildly upset. And I’m pretty sure that’s a gun. No, yeah, that’s a gun. He wouldn’t kill me, would h-

.

.

.

Ow. That was loud, and I now have the most searing headache. Still, better than getting shot in the face. Wait, why am I bleeding?

And why is Leo holding up a mirror? Wait… is that my face? There is a hole going straight through my skull. I should not be okay. Is it ...closing? That should be taking longer, I’m certain of that.

“Invulnerability is one of the perks of the bloodline. Takes quite a bit to harm beings like us.”

Beings like us? Crazy b*****d. Then again, maybe I’m the crazy one. “The f**k did you just shoot me for?”

He leans back in his chair, smug as ever. I’ll say it again: A*****e. “To prove it to you. You survived being shot, yes? Not exactly normal.”

That’s true enough. What if he’s not lying to me? I mean, stabbed and shot, yet I feel fine. Good, even, aside from a headache, which if we’re being honest is a pretty mild response to being shot. If so, what am I? And this is just one benefit? What else can I do now… Fly? Lift cars? Heat vision?

“What… what are ‘we’, exactly? And what do you mean by ‘bloodline’? Are we related?” Those all sound like reasonable enough questions, right? Reasonable within the circumstance, obviously.

“So many questions. Luckily, one answer answers them all. Our father is Lucifer.” Oh, well, why didn’t you just say so. Devils my dad, clearly. Why didn’t I think of that?

“So, what, we’re going to join up and fight Jesus? Two heads better than one sort of deal?”

“Not quite. Christ was the embodiment of Heaven, and the last true messenger of God, before he… Abdicated. There can never be another being like him. If there could, well, our presence would be pointless. But, luckily, with the Lord gone, the remaining Archangels couldn’t possibly produce anything nearly as powerful. And before you ask, no, nobody knows where God went. Don’t bother with that.”

So. To sum it up. God’s gone, Lucifer is my father, and Heaven and Hell are real. Nice. Insane, unbelievable, and frightening, but hey, I think I should keep rolling with the punches here.

“So, what, we’re going to bring about the apocalypse? Four horsemen style?”

“Seven. Seven of us. And not exactly, no. You see, the only way to go from Hell the Heaven, or vice versa, is to use Earth as a go-between. A sort of pit stop. And for the last 10,000 years or so, the stop has been closed. We’re going to open it back up, and let our Father invade Heaven.” Yeah. Like I’d ever do that. F**k off, mate.

“Yeah, speak for yourself. I’m not doing that. Fight your own war.” Now, I’ll just drink a little more from his bar and be on my way.

“You don’t understand what’s being offered, do you? We’re going to bring Earth out of this war. Once we open the gate, we’re out of the conflict. Lucifer will attack Heaven. They’ll fight. One side will lose. And humans will be free of the eons old war between otherworldly creatures. But beyond that, you will be rewarded. Rich, powerful, unaging. Free to rule the mortal world like gods.”

Gods. I could be a god. Is it worth it? I mean, so far this gig seems pretty good… Power, money, and apparent immortality. If it gets better than this? I could get used to that. And hey, it’ll pull Earth out of some big wars way. So it’s a win-win, right? Still, siding with the devil has some pretty obviously negative connotations. Like, you know, him being the devil. Then again, I’ve been called devilish, sooooo... f**k it.

“No sense in turning down a win-win. I’m on board”

Why is his smile so creepy? Probably a result of inbreeding in his ancestors. Rich f***s never could keep their hands off of their cousin Ellie.

“Excellent. Now, the first order of business: We need to determine exactly which one you are.”

“Which one I am? Which one of what?” He looks a little confused at my question.

“Why, which one of the Seven Sins. Each of us embodies one. I, for example, am Pride. Each of us has different abilities. I don’t know what the others have, but I can command most mortals, as well as being exceptionally strong, if I do say so myself.”

SO THAT’S WHY HE’S SUCH A PRICK! He’s the living embodiment of dickery. Pride. Poor guy, never had a shot at being likeable.

“Okay. How do we find out which one I am? Some kind of ritual or something?”

“In a way. Why don’t you follow me.” And with that, we’re off once again. I don’t think I’ll ever learn my way around these twisting corridors. They’re all very impressive, now that I look at them. The ceiling must be ten feet up, and the walls are covered in art, with imposing pillars every fifteen feet or so. It’s all very classic wealth manor, just like everything else.

I smell paint. Turning the corner, I see almost a dozen people, all hard at work turning the white and gold walls into black and purple.

“You see, when I appropriated this manor, I found the colors to be a bit off. So I’m having them changed. It’s quite the undertaking.” Appropriated? “You see, when I commanded the previous owner to sign over everything he owned, I was mortified to see all of the religious symbols. I had those removed first. Now I’m slowly redecorating.”

Oh yeah. He can command mortals. Must come in handy.

“Here.” He brings me to a stop and Nathaniel opens a door.

“This just looks like a sheer pit.”

“Of course. That’s what it is.” And with that, he shoves me in and I begin falling.

Luckily, I don’t fall far. It’s only about 20 feet. I imagine before something like that might’ve hurt, but for whatever reason, it felt simply like jumping down the last few steps of stairs. Benefits of demon-blood, I suppose.

“The F**K Leo?!?” This guy.

“Don’t worry little brother. I’m sure you’ll kill it, and when you do, I’ll lower the ladder.” Wait, kill what? As I open my mouth to ask, I hear a shuffling behind me, and in the midst of me turning, the lights come on.

I’m in a pit, as if that wasn’t obvious. It’s cold, dark, and all concrete, wall to wall. Looks like 20, maybe 25 square feet. No decor. Nothing but lights on the walls. I suppose I’d feel cold and alone, except for the six and a half foot behemoth that looks like it was shat straight out of Satan's a*****e.

All muscle, long, black claws, and red and green patched skin. It has a face that looks almost normal, aside from looking like somebody sent it through a shredder and tried to piece it back together with chopsticks. The back of it’s skull has long, frankly sickening tentacles coming out of it, and it’s right arm seems about a foot, maybe a foot and a half longer than the left, with each ending in hands easily twice the size of a baseball mitt.

“Do hurry up and kill it, before it tears you in half.” As if to puncuate Leo the Lord of Dickery’s point, the beast charges me. I leap to the side at the last second, because that’s what I was trained to do during brief time as a matador. (I say trained, but honestly stumbling into a running with the bulls event trying to escape a local cop doesn’t really count as training.)

Unfortunately for me, whatever this thing is, it’s a bit smarter than a bull. It grabs me by the leg as I dive, and hurls me into a nearby wall, cracking the concrete with my impact. The fall didn’t hurt, but that most DEFINITELY did. A lot. No rest for the wicked, however, as the beast charges me again. My head still ringing, I realize that diving won’t quite cut it. So, I go a bit more unorthodox. The thing is coming at me, but instead of going to the left or right, I dive between it’s legs.

I don’t think it saw that coming, as it didn’t grab me this time. As I slide out from under it, I give it a swift kick in the a*s, intending to send it into the wall. Apparently, my kicks got a bit stronger, as it lifts the beast and sends in right where I hit the first time. Sweet, sweet justice.

Unlike me, the creature seems unfazed by his face to face encounter with the wall. In fact, I would say it just seems angry. Well, angrier. It quickly turns, lunges, and grabs me by my neck, before running forward, dragging my back along the ground. An act that I can feel cutting me open from  behind, before it lifts me up. Juuuust in time to hit the wall.

I’m going to die down here. I feel the thing starting to choke me, and the pain is too much. Even with my newfound strength, I don’t stand a chance. Dead before I got to use all my cool super powers. Lame.

My hands are weakling gripping the beast's arm, but I’m not strong enough to do anything. If I were as strong as this thing, this would’ve been easy. If I just had more power. All I want is to be stronger than this thing. All I want is to win. All I want is to kill it.

Wait.

It’s grip is weakening.

And mine is getting stronger. I can tell by the look in this things disgusting face. It’s wondering whats happening. Hell, so am I. Still, never look a gift horse in the mouth. My grip just keeps getting stronger and stronger… I wonder…

CRACK

Yep. The creature stumbles back as I apply all of my newfound strength to it’s arm, breaking the bones in half. It also releases me, conveniently. But as it stumbling back and I let go of it, I realize something. I’ve stopped gaining strength. Curious. With the thing distracted by pain, I have a moment to think. And with that moment, I just formed my hypothesis.

I step forward and grab the things broken arm, bending it. That wasn’t part of the test, just as a little vengeance. But, in touching it, I have my answer. The second I resumed contact, I started getting stronger again. Which means I was stealing this things power. Useful. And exhilarating.

The more I take, the better I feel. I’m much stronger than this thing now, so strong I barely notice as it struggles against my grip. With every whimpering thrash it grows more and more pathetic, to the point that it’s like subduing I petulant child in the middle of a tantrum. I am in heaven right now- or, hell, as the case may be.

But eventually, it all stops. The beast stops struggling, the power stops coming, and the near euphoric feeling fades. Upon closer inspection, it would appear that I’ve killed it. I likely took too much of whatever it was I was taking, and it killed the creature.

“Oi, dickhead. Lower me a ladder, or I swear I will climb up there, throw YOU down here, and pour cement down the hole.”

“Calm down, brother.” I look up at him just in time to see him kick a rope ladder down. “Climb on up and we’ll talk about what happened”

It was at this exact moment that I recalled my fear of heights. I hate ladders. With a passion. Even knowing that the fall won’t hurt, I still hate the idea of falling. But it doesn’t look like there's another way out. Okay… I can do this. Just one foot in front of the other. And do NOT look down.

I can feel my stomach tightening, and my hands start to shake. Calm down. You’re an invulnerable, nigh immortal, super-powered monstrosity. For f***s sake you’re the son of Lucifer. Get your s**t together and just finish climbing to the top.

He’s waiting for me at the top. He looks so smug and calm, and he seems completely oblivious to the fact that I want to murder him.

“Come along little brother. We have much to discuss.”