Deep Sea Creatures

snippet oo9

we’re sorry mom we knew how much you wanted to have a little girl.
 
why didn’t you just drown us all in the tub?
 
(if you had it your way)
 
GRANT who was the first to go-who was your pride and joy-who was  happy go lucky-was so stupidly optimistic it came as quite a shock to him when he felt his head go under.
 
LIAM who was second-who was your phoenix rising out of the ashes of your divorce-who was reserved and obedient-who tried so hard to amount to something in your eyes-drowned himself for you.
 
JASON who was third-who was your last sliver of hope-who was your please, God-who was remarkably bright and had an ardent desire to know all he could about the world-died first from his fear of water and with so many of his questions left unanswered.
 
and ME-who
 
(if you had it your way)
 
would not have been born at all. 

Author's Note

{ ... }

Reviews

[Jaeda]

It makes me crave to know more. But mostly it makes me ask the question "Why?" even if the back story might just make everything worse. Was it a suicide note? A plea for help?

[Hello, Goodbye]

gnarly

[Dane Osborne]

Yes a ramble BUT a far more interesting one than most of what's considered coherent. This reveals so much with so little and in all in that bizzarre and quirky style that only you can do.

[GTVile]

Hmm, its pretty evocative and open-ended enough to make the reader interested in knowing the back story. Its not too artsy fartsy, which helps because the nature of this sort of piece has to be rooted in reality or it loses its validity, IMHO. Good job.