I Am the Shepherd: Why A Godless World is Just as Great a Story (Finished!)

My best friend gave me a book about Christianity so that I could better understand her faith. I decided to write her a response so that she could better understand mine.

 

i am the shepherd

why a godless world is just as great a story

 

 

j. scarlett

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part 1: the journey

 

            People always ask me what I believe. I tell them, “It’s a long explanation.” The explanation is long for a reason; it took me a long time to discover it for myself. What I believe does not require any prerequisite experience, but I think that in a world dominated by religion it is important to know a little bit about the kind of journey I have made.

            I was born into a very religious family. My mother was born and raised Mormon, and my father converted when he married her. I went to church every Sunday, I was “sealed” with my family in the Temple, and I prayed to God every night before bed. We would have continued to worship in the Mormon church for the rest of our lives, and I would have been baptized in just a few months, if my mother hadn’t done the unthinkable: she questioned her faith.

            I thank her every day for the example she set me. In the face of friends and family telling her that she would go to hell, that she wouldn’t be able to raise her kids, that the only reason she had lost her faith was because of medication she was taking, my mother left the Mormon Church. Why? Because she heard things about her religion that she wasn’t comfortable with, and rather than “having faith”, she found the facts, and the facts did nothing to comfort her. As a seven-year-old I saw someone have the strength to take what they believed to be true, and question that truth, and then admit that it was not what they had thought it was. Looking back on it now, I can only have even deeper respect for my mother’s courage.

            This moment, I believe, was truly the beginning of my “religious journey”. For the next few years my mother researched and practiced several different systems of beliefs. I made that journey with her, and eventually was able to create my own.

            One of the systems we studied the most closely, and the one that has probably influenced me the most, is Wicca. Now before we go on, let me make something clear: I am talking about real Wicca. Real Wicca does not have anything at all to do with wearing black clothing or poking birds, and individuals who believe this to be true are nothing more than ignorant. Wiccans believe in a dual deity of a male God and female Goddess. These deities are not separated from us up in Heaven, but interact with us in spiritual ways. Wicca is about becoming connected with the world around us, and appreciating life as a whole.

            Of course, the big question that comes along with Wicca is “Do you practice magic?”. The answer, very simply, is yes—but probably not the kind you’re thinking of. Wiccans believe that whatever you put into the universe, you will attract back to yourself. With this belief in mind, do you really think they would want to be throwing around curses and turning people into frogs? I think not. 

            So why didn’t I continue to practice Wicca? I never felt a God or a Goddess watching over me. I felt connected to Life, to the Earth, to the things around me, but never did I feel that some great Being was keeping tabs on my world. Because of this, I began to call myself Pagan. Paganism is essentially the same idea as Wicca, minus the God and Goddess. For a while I was content with this new label, until I began doing some research. Stemming from my interest in world cultures, I began studying many different religions, including Greek, Roman, Chinese, Japanese, etc. The more I studied, the more I began to realize that I agreed as well as disagreed with points in every religion I came across, including Paganism. How could I honestly name myself a part of a religion I didn’t completely agree with? How could I choose one religion and follow every rule it set?

 

 

part 2: organized religion

 

 

            I don’t buy organized religion. I don’t think anyone can fit all of his or her ideas under one philosophical roof. Even the religious people I have encountered in my life do not follow everything their religion tells them to, nor do all of their ideas fit in. Why call yourself something when you’re not going to actually practice it?

            We speak so frequently to our youth about the dangers of associating yourself with a certain group – “goth”, “prep”, “geek”, “jock”. How is calling yourself “atheist”, “Christian”, “Catholic”, or “Jewish” any different? I am unable to conform myself to any single religion. It took me several years to realize that that’s okay.

            I will never say that all religion is bad. It can be a good thing, and I’ve seen it used as a good thing. But the reality is that it is used too often as simply a means to control people. Civilizations throughout history have been kept in control due to a fear of some great punishment they would receive from gods. There are countless examples of people being literally brainwashed into believing things that are not necessarily true. Women seem to be the most harmed by these kinds of practices, and as a woman myself the stories of abuse and disrespect these women are put through in the name of God makes me shudder.

            In fact, according to the Bible women have been at fault from the beginning. Notice that it was Eve who first sinned, and convinced Adam to sin. How interesting that it was not a joint decision. Traditionally the Bible places the woman at a back seat to men, even saying: “For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” (I Corinthians 11:3). I cannot and will not associate myself with a set of beliefs taken from such an obviously sexist manuscript.

            Besides crimes against women, the Bible has also been used to justify stoning, slavery, murder, mutilation, racism, and war, most frighteningly the Children’s Crusade, which sent hundreds of unarmed children into battle because their “innocence” would protect them. Wouldn’t God, an all-knowing, all-powerful being, have had the foresight to realize that “His” manuscript would be used as justification for such horrific events? And even if he hadn’t, what is he doing now, watching TV? Shouldn’t a God invested in “His” world, who took all that time to write out a huge book full of stories explaining what we should do and not do, be a bit worried about the fact that “His” children are using it for evil? I certainly hope he’s concerned, because if he’s not we have an even bigger problem.

            Of course, the question of whether God wrote the Bible in the first place, or any other religious manuscript for that matter, is truly the heart of religion and human belief. It is said that the men (coincidence that there were no major female writers?) who wrote the Bible were given the words by God. Why do we know this? Because the Bible says so (circular reasoning much?). Is it not a very large possibility that the people writing this book would want the book to say that they wrote it? I can very easily write the words “God told me to say this” on a piece of paper, but does that make it from God? Why is it that one book is considered absolute truth, while countless other scripts claiming to be the same are ignored? What makes the Bible, or any religious text, so special?

 

            My problem with religion is that I have too many questions and not enough answers.

 

part 3: the unraveling

 

 

            So, if I don’t believe in organized religion, I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in the Bible, or religious texts in general actually, what DO I believe in? Rather than turning to any kind of religious book, I began to take what I had learned from each religious study and from the evidence I could see all around me, and put it together. What I ended up with was Energy.

            Pure Energy is not good, it is not bad, it is not evil, nor is it angelic. It is absolutely neutral, a common “soul” of every single thing in the universe. Not just Earth – everywhere, in animals, plants, rock, water, and yes, humans. We are all essentially connected to the same Life Force, and therefore we are all worth something. Women are not better than men, nor are men better than women, nor are whites better than blacks or blacks better than whites. There can be no excuse for racism OR sexism, because we are now on an equal plane. 

            Does magic work? Yes. If you are able to use items that hold certain energies, or even simply direct energy of your own, you can create magic. Can you make things appear out of thin air or turn into a frog? Probably not, considering the sheer amount of energy that would take.

            Does prayer work? Yes. Think about what happens when a congregation is asked to pray for someone. If all of those church members go home and really, truly pray, focusing their energies on what they want to achieve, there is a very good chance it will happen. In actuality, is prayer not simply another form of magic?

            What happens when we die? Our life force, our energy, goes back into the Universe, and will probably return again within new matter. In other words, reincarnation. Why do I believe this? I’ve seen two psychics in my life, and I asked both of them about my past lives. Both of them told me the same visions. Coincidence? Highly unlikely. Besides this personal experience, the idea of energy finding a new vessel only makes sense; where else would it go?

            Are there ghosts? Yes. Energy and consciousness are two different things. If the consciousness of a previous life decides it wants to hang around for a while, you end up with “ghosts”. I also believe that we have angels, but they are no messengers of God, rather friendly spirits who watch over those of us still contained in matter.

            There is no Heaven, there is no Hell. It amazes me that people believe such fanciful stories of eternal paradise and horrible punishments performed by fallen angels, yet they dismiss things like dragons and unicorns. No, the evildoers of the world will meet no retribution in the afterlife, though I understand that this idea is comforting for many people. However, while Pure Energy is neither negative nor positive, it can hold a negative or positive charge. Those of us who hold a positive outlook will attract other positive energies to us, while those of us who hold and create negativity will attract more negative energies. Generally criminals do not have very happy lives.

           

But if there is no God and no Heaven, what are we living for? What is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is life. To live, to create, to succeed, to add something to the universe. If there is no eternal paradise to look forward to, we must instead look forward to the future here, where it matters. We cannot ignore the world we live in because this is the only world we have. We must make something of our life now, because there’s no use waiting for a white-robed man to give us a hug. Look to the people who are here to support you, and be the support for the people around you.

            We are here to live. We serve no greater Being, but ourselves, our families, our society, our culture, our very world. It is so much more astounding to think that this beautiful universe formed itself out of chaos and chance. Look at how lucky we are! It is up to us to secure a future for ourselves, because we are the past, the present, and the future. We must be the strength of our world, the hope, the love, because no one else will do it for us. We are the guardians and leaders of the universe. We are not sheep to be led, but rather we are all shepherds. That, to me, makes Life so much more worth living.

 

 

Reviews

[Nathan Gray]

I have just finished a very similar religious journey that walked an strangly close path to yours. It's nice to know that I haven't gone insane and that there are others who I can relate to. Good luck on your path and I hope you find everything you seek.

Blessed Be ^_^

[~MamaBear~]

I think I am beginning to understand better.

[Ecox]

Very interesting. I know exactly where you're coming from. I Look forward to reading more of this.