PMS, better known as Punish Men Severely...

Satire or Horror, you decide...

Of course I'm insane, I'm a woman!

Blame it on my reproductive track...

     & hormones out of whack

it's that time of the month

       like the perfect storm,

moods are fluctuating,

        could end up a bloody

     Potential Murder Suspect

steer clear if you want to keep

   your man parts intact,

they call it PMS because 

  Mad Cow Disease was already taken,

I'm fine, don't touch my breasts, I hate you

  I want chocolate, I need ice cream, 

      where's my AK-47, come here, 

                          go away...refrigerator

I'm not crying, I'm retaining water

   it's seeping out through my eyes...

Do I look bloated, what did you say???

    yes, girls are so much fun

      in the meantime unless you're not into

       estrogen induced mania

        prone to fits of psychopathic outbursts 

       of rage induced depression, keep a safe distance...

   meanwhile brace yourself it only lasts 

       till we're old and gray,

         then we finally get a break

           chillin' to the heat of the beat

                     of MEN o' PAUSE

 

This is why women know GOD is a man!

Author's Note

captcha-propene ha

Reviews

[redflutterby]

How about satirical horror...or horrifying satire... let me set down my AK-47 and my chocolate bar to say BRAVA you cunning poetess. I'm sure you have single handedly made every woman on wc cackle with glee and scared the crap out of every male. Hahahahaha.... did I mention last night that I loved this? Or was that one of my other personalities named raging Sybil. ;-P

100 semi lucid moments courtesy of hormonal chaos!!!

[Frieda P]

LOL love the review, Sybil at your service here too, we must be twins, and synced together as well in our 100% bat shyte craziness. ;)

[redflutterby]

Amen to that sister....the world better shudder if we both ever completely snap at the same time!!!! HA!!!

[Frieda P]

Ha sounds like the apocalypse to me !!

[redzone]

To Frieda and all the women at WC, HA!! the redzone fears neither death nor a woman's PMS...

er... and now I am heading for the hills and my man cave to hide like a silly rabbit who was attempting to eat the Trix and to think I had coffee and chocolates and ice cream too... ;0p

while it is very sad that Frieda is no longer here to read this, (probably no one will since this poem was posted over a year ago), if she were, she would have taken my chocolates, ate my ice cream and drank the coffee, then kicked my arse... sigh.. she was/is loverly and knew/knows how to write poetry... and to me she was one bad a*s, delightfully wicked and wonderful woman.. it was/is a treat to know her..

redzone (any time you want to release that PMS madness, you know where I am)

[Bright Ocean Star]

I thought I'd read this one before...but I couldn't resist the title. Ha-ha! You make me laugh so hard. I love this one. Frieda, I"ve missed you greatly!

[Moonie]

Is that an autobiographical monologue??? ;)
Haha,been there, done that, hon......

[Ashira Macy]

Haha Frieda this was hilarious! Every line embodies how almost every woman feels at one point or another during PMS. Not every single cycle mind you, at least not for me, but there are times when I simply want to rip someone's head from their neck.

I'm not crying, I'm retaining water
it's seeping out through my eyes...

This one was so funny!

[Nusquam Esse]

Certainly got a chuckle from this one; to be fair, there are the odd times where men can have their own little bit of incoherent and irrational thought, but it rarely reaches the levels you show here; loved the rapid thought shifting all about! And then those ending lines... priceless as they were clever. I had a buddy who used to call his mother a Menopausasaurus...because she would stomp around the house in fits of rage like some hormonal dinosaur out for vengeance... :D

[Bright Ocean Star]

Ha! LMAO! Brilliant! Absolutely in love with this!!!! So much fun!!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

HA HA HA! Loved it, you so described it so well! The music was right on with this poem!

[Katharine]

Preach it! This poem was oddly hilarious, although it may make a certain group(men) cringe, it's true. I really loved this, and nice choice of music in the Author's note!

[Frieda P]

Thanks, they'll get over it, tis real life for us woman folk! :)

[Prabha Salimath]

Very realistic poem I really appriciate the way you write about a woman so nicely..
I can't say anymore but this is an excellent poem I loved it...

[rach]

I enjoyed how you portrayed PMS in such a comical way, I like the way you captured the feelings of bewilderment and horror many men must experience when their partners are PMSing.
Nice work!