reasonable facsimile of rapture...

Liquid passion elixirs,

        wildflower's deception

              hell's loaded gun

weapons of a

      fruitless heart ~

cut through nectar'd 

        endearments

like a knife splits 

         drawn butter's foam

shot 'tween the eyes 

         of a spirit's blight,

spliced together

in a reasonable facsimile

               of crap shoot's game,

     

rapture's torturous

bygone misconceptions  of

                   foregone conclusions  

Author's Note

captcha - plumless

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

Sigh, I can see you're having one of those days love...the one I read this morning could have went either way emotionally but this one hurts...I was actually just getting ready to read the other one you wrote today, but the title gives me some inclination of what's in that one...'wildflower's deception' says an awful lot...flowers are supposed to be beautiful, not the types of things to be deceptive, even a 'wild' flower...when I first looked at that photo at the end, I thought it was a sinking heart...I suppose it was meant to look that way, but either way it's an adequate summation of my reaction to this piece...still your words and images are painstaking and beautiful even in their darkest hues...hope you're doing alright my dear friend...

[Frieda P]

Betrayal always hurts like bloody hell, old story, but still bleeds. Luckily, I still love wildflowers. :) Thanks sweetie...

[just Penny]

Dark and cutting. The words slice through emotion beautifully, particularly "hell's loaded gun weapons of a fruitless heart". Betrayal is, in my humble view, a living death whether intentional or reckless or negligent. You have a special skill to put into words the depth and hurt of these things. Bravo :)

[Troy Henson]

The song worked for this so well Frieda.

Lifes loaded gun can have a hell of a lot of unfortunate circumstances in it. The one that stings the most is being lied too....that hurts. So much truth here and a powerful write Frieda.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"it's life's illusions i recall, i really don't know clouds at all" (joni mitchell..)

nothing is what it seems...and the rapture is not real...we get caught up in it...not realizing we are being conned.

i love that you used "facsimile" in your title...great word...and not ordinarily thought of in a poetic respect...but you pull it off in the title and how it fits the poem

[willweb]

This hurt inside as I read today Frieda P. This pain you describe, the torment of eyes that stare but do not see is screaming from your poem. I always find something different and unique when I read your poetry. Though the underlying theme most of the time seems to be sadness, it is the beautiful way you write this sadness that brings me back.

[s y e]

Well OUCH this one stings like a biatch. Betrayal is a b***h and ruins a lot of friendships/relationships, I know that we have both been betrayed by friends and family and it hurts. This one pained me to read as I have been going through some things...

// shot 'tween the eyes
of a spirit's blight,
spliced together
in a reasonable facsimile
of crap shoot's game, //

You can't get the truth any more powerful than this.......... I hope you're okay? xoxo

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Losing a loved one can fee lie the end of the world, you can even write heartache so eloquently.

[Ruth]

Such pain and the process that brings - visceral and felt darling heart...sometimes, that's all that needs saying xo

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly Poppy. xo

[Lydia Shutter]

Foregone conclusions are often wrong, that's for sure. We can not really ask for more than a reasonable facsimile of our dreams, can we? Let's face it, everything is better in fantasy. I liked this, Frieda. Lydi**

[Frieda P]

Yes indeed, in my fantasy, he's certainly laid out on that bed of nails now. :) Thanks muchly Lydikey.

[Lyn Anderson]

In the end, I guess that's all many of us get -- a reasonable facsimile -- nice write again, my friend, but a bit of a downer.:)

[Frieda P]

Sorry, sometimes you just gotta go there. :)

[David Scott]

It is like smelling plastic flowers...
Like watching porn...
Like karaoke concerts...
Like wax gum...
Like virtual gun fights...
Like pouring coffee into a cup without a bottom...
The experience is perfectly duplicated, yet nothing really happens or can be experienced in any meaningful way.

I love the song here! Takes me back...
Not sure if this was the thought you had, but this is where I went...

[Frieda P]

Ha that made me smile, yep....all good examples but those plastic flowers geez, quasi-substitutions at best...so happy to see you on my page Scott! xo