.... dead flowers in the final countdown

last breath's illusion

slipped into your shadow, 

      felt like darkly molten lava

    run amuck with an edge in authority 

choked on dense, upheaval's last breath

    shooting sparks within your superiority

we favored you the name death

            yet, knowing nothing more

                        then yesterday's calling,

         still  impoverished in your vitality of expression

                               an overly creative humor's

                                                  quest for productivity, 

  

comfortably numb in your belief's reality

     as deprived of knowledge 'til after the fact,

       could possibly trip the next detached illusion

Author's Note

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

I wish I had your finesse some days. I feel like a cave man with my club of anger, lacking in subtleties and social graces next to your metaphorical treatments of life's trials and tribulations. I can only echo the sentiments of the many other reviews here.

[Frieda P]

Laughing here, only in poetry, we chat enough, you should know that....thanks KL. ;)

[Alfred Kukitz]

The intelligence factor is extremely high. You have flashed some brilliance here Frieda and your images shows quite a beauty.

[Tai Ryens]

The death of a moment as a drug, perhaps? The fleeting anticipation of knowing that the next few breaths will be your last driving you with an authoritative desire and a superior feeling and urging you to do what you never thought you could do without it, believing such a moment to be a productive one.

Hmn, an enticing yet confusing poem to me. Nonetheless, an entertaining one to read. Well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Tom nailed it. You have such depth and breadth my Lady.

[Frieda P]

Much appreciated John, means a lot coming from you, you've been a mentor and friend to me since I first arrived at the cafe, grazie mille....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No you have been such a diamond my Lady; kept me grounded.

[Frieda P]

In the rough, now I know you've been in the sun too long. Mwah! x

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Well we both like a bit of rough lol!

[Frieda P]

Laughing here, you're on the ball today...haha

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Getting back in the flow and on the ball is good!

[kublakhan27]

The middle stanza is absolute genius Mrs.R...those lines alone already have my eyes going red a little bit...you know I'm coming off a night when I've shed a few tears so this one speaks to me in ways I can't articulate in a comment box...I think I know how you're doing these days as well, and this really strikes me as a cry from the heart...maybe I'm being over-sensitive in my current frame of mind, I honestly hope I am, but that is my initial feeling coming off this piece...humour makes an appearance here, but it's cold and self-deprecating...how could it not be coming off the heels of dense upheaval's last breath? Yes, this is a sad piece, and I'm comfortably numb just like you in the midst of these lines...this is an indelible poetic imprint on my heart love...perfect song choice, but you left little to say in the wake of this piece...amazing...xo

[Frieda P]

Sigh, yes I know Steve....if only comfortably numb lasted longer. Thanks so much my sweet friend. xo

[kublakhan27]

Indeed my dearest friend, if only...

My pleasure Frieda, as always...xo

[Lydia Shutter]

I love the way song titles seem to sneak their way into your poetry. "The final countdown".....it does seem like the home stretch to death is like this....especially if the patient has a terminal illness. "Comfortably numb"....that is how I felt when visiting hospice for many days for all too many loved ones. Frieda, you can write about anything....I am convinced of that. This one is a haunting write....but still just as much a joy to read as your others. Lydi**

[Frieda P]

Funny you should mention that Lydi, half the time I don't even realize, music is such a big part of who I am...'tis sad indeed, part of life is death we all endure eventually..Thanks so much for your glowing words, muchly appreciated my kind friend. Enjoy your weekend...

[Tom]

Impressive indeed Frieda, how you can change gears from your usual spontaneous, joie de vivre poetry and every now and again produce a more foreboding piece, yet just as creatively penned and intriguing to read as your many other fine writes!

A dark, metaphorically haunting tale, wonderfully conveyed!

[Frieda P]

You are a sweetheart coach, you've made my day! Thanks so much, enjoy your weekend my friend. x

[Tom]

And you Frieda P ....xo

[Frieda P]

♥♥

[willweb]

There is no need to look for death. It will find us when it is ready. It is patient and so are we, or should be. Laughter does help in forgetting it exists and so does your poetry. This was great Frieda P. Light shining into the dark. I really enjoyed this today.

[Frieda P]

Exactly Will...thanks so much my friend.

[Einstein Noodle]

i use to be in a band and that is one of the songs we did .. a great tune and lyrics .. a fine change up .. you have two trees of life there! i have one tattooed on my belly :))

we deal with death far too little .. no surprise you have charged head on with this poem .. it has the last say for sure .. as death has only one expression .. the humor has to come from us doesn't it? .. and you ...such a devilish little angel .. we get past it and comes our "... next detached illusion" .. how i love the mind you express ;)
E.

[Frieda P]

Oh what imagery, I can just see you rockin' out your cool self back then. :)

Not easy to deal with, just trying to wrap my pea brain around it some days....thanks muchly my sweet E! x

[Einstein Noodle]

i do love you girl! :)

[Frieda P]

Awh mwah! ♥

Where'd your handsome self go, liked that avatar.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) i am pleased and humbled you noticed .. but ... that is me in a younger day ... when i played ;) can you feel it? its a grand day today Freida!
E.

[Frieda P]

It's a bit blurry, could you have made it any smaller? ;)

[Einstein Noodle]

yeh .. it is! i will try .. but i do ride a mighty big tractor .. i love your pages Freida ... this song here is so very good
not to mention you :o
E.

[Frieda P]

Are you drinking already E? ha...again with the tractor. :)

[Mayank]

I find it more like a ode to death, you have to give up... you have no choice but surrendering to death! The words are deep and trapped you in silky realms of death.

[Frieda P]

Ultimately, we have no choice, thanks for your visit and kind words Mayank.