written on a night's chill

Written on night's chill

   patterned in  stillness's cruel shades

darkly bound of salted tear's sorrows

   inky desperate curses dripping

in moon's sighs of hopeless translations

   waiting for the sun to surrender

Sought your face in every shadow

     beyond misty cobalt promises

seething  of indulgent  prayers 

  contention of redemption's affirmations 

       deliverance on empty cloud's atonement

   exhaling a struggling final whisper...

                                            in the crying rain

   

Author's Note

Reviews

[s y e]

// seething of indulgent prayers
contention of redemption's affirmations
deliverance on empty cloud's atonement
exhaling a struggling final whisper... //

Oooooftt!!! I think I just got blown to some place in the US! This was mighty powerful and full of emotion. You know, I always thought of the rain as tears, so I loved this analogy.

Wellies & all that jazz! xoxoxo

[Frieda P]

Oooftt, what a stellar review, thanks muchly noodlebumble! That's why we have to dance in the rain....xo

[Vidya Bacchus]

Oh my but this is so sad chica.Your words drip of a deep pain and sadness.

[Frieda P]

Some days are dark, ya know pazzo...

[Damien Thibodeaux]

Deep emotional anguish drips from every line in your poem. You are so brilliant in the words you choose, you make me feel the sadness. Much love and respect to you, my friend.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for your kind words Damien, means a lot. x

[Troy Henson]

Oh the pain and anguish here is intense.

Much love Frieda

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Troy x

[Einstein Noodle]

will the pain ever end .. :(
your friend E.
ps. shoulders to rest your head on any time

[Frieda P]

Awh thanks my sweet friend. xo

[Leslie Philibert]

What I enjoy here is the last line as conclusion to the two verses, excellent

[Frieda P]

Seems to be the concensus, everyone likes the crying rain, thanks Leslie

[AprilRN1210]

This gave me chills... I have known this overwhelming pain and sorrow... Everything about this is absolutely stunning. Each carefully selected word placed elegantly to create this deeply moving, haunting, powerful piece. It is my new favorite.. Oh my goodness girl. Even the graphic adds a compelling layer to this. Gripping, dynamic, and full of raw emotion.

[AprilRN1210]

oh and did I mention VIVID... I feel the lonely chill of the air as I sit to "pour" my heart out with my pen dripping with the pain and heartache, thunder booming in my heart, the salty tears running down my face, as the brightness of my world fades to black... again gave me CHILLS

[Frieda P]

Wow thanks April, you've humbled me with this review...

[Lyn Anderson]

This is so gorgeous, painful, longing, sadness, so beautiful.

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your kind words KL!

[Matching Socks]

You switch back from bright and playful to dark and melancholy so easily.
Beautifully written Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Just call me Sybil, thanks so much Ance.

[Matching Socks]

Sybil, that is gorgeous. :)

[Frieda P]

If you like crazy people :)

[Matching Socks]

Takes one to know one. :)

[Frieda P]

I figured, normal is boring anywho :)

[Sami Khalil]

Struggles are immediate and some can be final. They need helping as well as hopeful translations. The more the struggles, the more the shadows grow. Splendid as usual...:)............

[Frieda P]

Thanks Sami, yes indeed, they loom don't they? :)

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome......:).........

[Antoñyo]

A chilled night's deliverance, indeed.
Loved the dark-toned whispering of pain and emptiness and the ending....how effectively closed

[Frieda P]

So good to see you back at the cafe Antonyo, thanks so much for the luverly review....