written on a night's chill

Written on night's chill

   patterned in  stillness's cruel shades

darkly bound of salted tear's sorrows

   inky desperate curses dripping

in moon's sighs of hopeless translations

   waiting for the sun to surrender

Sought your face in every shadow

     beyond misty cobalt promises

seething  of indulgent  prayers 

  contention of redemption's affirmations 

       deliverance on empty cloud's atonement

   exhaling a struggling final whisper...

                                            in the crying rain

   

Author's Note

Reviews

[s y e]

// seething of indulgent prayers
contention of redemption's affirmations
deliverance on empty cloud's atonement
exhaling a struggling final whisper... //

Oooooftt!!! I think I just got blown to some place in the US! This was mighty powerful and full of emotion. You know, I always thought of the rain as tears, so I loved this analogy.

Wellies & all that jazz! xoxoxo

[Frieda P]

Oooftt, what a stellar review, thanks muchly noodlebumble! That's why we have to dance in the rain....xo

[Rita L. Sev]

Raw sorrow expressed in the stark and beautiful images that nature offers. Cry in the rain... both are cleansing... Stellar poetry, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Rita.

[Ayushi]

Awwhh sad and deep..
Your choice of words and formations are amazing :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Ayushi :)

[David Scott]

The crying game plays out hot and cold tears.
Interesting poetry.
Seems like I read thus one before or something very similar.
A sadness pervades.

[Frieda P]

One of mine, or someone else's, I do tend to repeat myself ha ;) Grazie Scott!

[Chris Micha]

Another dark one that is so good. Hurt makes a great dark part of life to write about and you did an amazing job once again. Bravo! :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks Christian.

[Gleb Zavlanov]

I can feel the very chill of the night impinging on me as I read this poem. Chilly and dark, and rich with foreboding and despair. Once again, fully appreciated this write.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Gleb, nice to see you again...

[MagicAl]

Wow, ok.. this one's deep and so full of meaning. Some really powerful lines, especially the "final whisper... in the crying rain". Really great poem.. :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much, jazz'd you enjoyed :)

[Bright Ocean Star]

This one is deep and yearning...maybe the yearning of mercy in a land of discontentment and atonement...I don't know. I like the crying in the rain. Water is the great bather of all sin and offers redemption from dirt, soil, and destruction. Tears bring release; release brings peace... I like this juxtaposition...very clever!

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your kind words Star, muchly appreciated.

[A. Amos]

This poem remind a song by Aha, crying in the rain...as always elegant piece of art.

[Frieda P]

Don't think I know that one A, will have to look it up, thanks so much my friend.

[A. Amos]

You tube is not opening...you're most welcome

[Frieda P]

Found it, thanks for the heads up, good song, has an old time vibe feel to it :)

[Cory Barrett]

No better time to cry than in the rain. Let the tears pour as natures tears join in the chorus. An honest baptism.

[Frieda P]

That sounds like the beginning of a poem right there, thanks Streamline....

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad and emotional ride in the poem. I like the artwork. Gave life to the words. Crying in the rain allow our tears to show us. We are still alive in emotion. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.