Our glass...COLLABORATION~ Einstein Noodle & Frieda

"the our glass"

sand

trickles down through glass to those blessed 

soft places of our heart

(relentless as)

a silent presence of finely tuned rushes

our impassioned fire goes down 

in gingerly penned consciousness  

(fire and sand)

words lick salt and sweat;

tongues caress lime and lemon.

time sneaks up 

and bites!

(silk as glass)

poetic dust unfurls

 in mystical yearnings

hushed by staggering imperfections

ink recalls sweet psycho,

 intoxication 'tween the spaces

(your shape)

reason melts into the next encounter

sympathy & tea analogy in braille,

written in symbiotic madness

Author's Note

Reviews

[DaughterNature]

I like this, I think you did a good job on the collaboration -- it sounds very much like one voice. I very much like the first stanza, the final stanza, and the parentheticals. But, what feels out of place to me is the mention of "lime and lemon" -- they're the only images in this that stretch so far beyond the "our glass" metaphor and the rest of the wording that they really stuck out to me. Cheers!

[Frieda P]

I think that's the 'biting' part...thanks so much for your visit and thoughts on our collaboration, muchly appreciated!

[Rita L. Sev]

First, I love the play on words in the title. The flow is wonderful - enjoyed the "poem within a poem" which added depth to each stanza. This is a great collaboration, Frieda and E!

[Frieda P]

Grazie mille Rita, so jazz'd you enjoyed!

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks Rita! much appreciate your time taken ;)
E.

[kublakhan27]

Wow, I am most impressed...your collaborative words awoke many emotions in me along the way, which is how I like collabs to be...there isn't much else I can say that hasn't already been said, I can only agree with the sentiments of everyone else and tip my hat to a wonderful work...great job you two :)

[Frieda P]

Oh yeah, a 'wow' from Benji....thanks muchly, we had fun with this one. :-)

[kublakhan27]

Haha You're most welcome Mrs.R :)

[Troy Henson]

An emotional roller coaster of sorts. Well done to the 2 of you.
Great work.

Regards

[Frieda P]

It was a fun roller coaster ride with E indeed! Thanks muchly Troy.

[DrD]

I like the progression of this work and how it so gracefully moves from one emotional experience to another. It is much like a poetic rollercoaster taking us from the ease of the soft places of the heart to abstractions of fire, sweat, salt and the quicksand of time. An excellent work, both of you.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for your kind words Dave.

[Brittany Zedalis]

This is an awesome collaboration! ^-^

[Frieda P]

Thanks Brittany! :-)

[David Scott]

Time, passion, intoxication, pleasure... They all are powerful and wonderful in their moment. They all fade as quickly as the are given...
Only devotion can last when the "our glass" is broken and blood softens the edges of times sand...
A very lovey poetic collaboration!

[Frieda P]

As long as our collaboration doesn't fade, it's all good, thanks so much Scott.

[Simran Kewlani]

I don't why, I kinda like this poem but don't understand why have you written those words in brackets.

[Einstein Noodle]

its kinda like an aside ... :)
E.

[Frieda P]

I'm so glad you answered that one E. ;-) Thanks so much Simran....

[Simran Kewlani]

Oh! Thank you, you both. Sorry for being stupid. :P

[Einstein Noodle]

i think i can speak for all, Simran; no one would think a question, constructive critique, or an honest "sorry! i just don't like this one" .. are stupid .. i am so glad you asked and i hope that the answer is helpful :)
love and peace and flowers
E.

[Simran Kewlani]

Yep! It was. Thank you. :)

[Frieda P]

I echo E's sentiments Simran, it was his idea so I thought it'd best for him to speak for himself.. :-)

[Leslie Philibert]

Enjoyed the clever pun with our glass, as a JJ fan the kind of thing I love, impressed too by the use of brackets, this an impressive write with loads of clever imagery.

[Frieda P]

Brackets were the genius' idea, thanks so much Leslie.

[Einstein Noodle]

"Our glass" was the direct from the lips of Freida :) i thank you as well Leslie
E.

[Nusquam Esse]

First of all, I am always thrilled to see collaborations on here, especially with such solid writers. I really enjoyed the play off of hourglass as being 'our'. The words flow in a surreal manner, twisting around on the tongue and mind. I found this a fascinating read. Somehow I was reminded of the picture where it looks like an hourglass/vase, yet also like two people kissing. Great Job you two!

[Frieda P]

As I am thrilled by your glowing review. I hadn't noticed the 'kissing' aspect, you're so observant, thanks so much Nusquam!

[Einstein Noodle]

had also never thought of the kissing aspect ... kissing of the minds perhaps .. i am also thrilled by your visit and review and comments Esse .. much respect and thank you
E.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Another exceptional piece but this time a product of two creative minds. So commendable. I like your concept of the "hourglass" as "our glass" which simply describes how human lives in madness (of love).
Thumbs up for both of you!

[Frieda P]

Exactly, thanks muchly Dhaye!

[Einstein Noodle]

i thank you as well Dhaye .. it's a mad mad mad mad world :>/
E.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome.